On Edge.

I had a very late start on another wet and dull day. There were dreams, bad ones about work, but I still couldn't get up. It was lunch time when I emerged. Determined to do some tedious domestic stuff and tax my car. The latter was done fine but when I got home I had a horrible suspicion I had wrecked the washing machine. I'm sure it is fixable but it has set me on edge. Why do little things things become big things when one is not in a normal mental state?

So a shaky afternoon figuratively and physically. Donizetti's opera Roberto Devereux is playing on the radio. I'm trying to read but not getting far. With luck some fine food will improve things for me when the time comes.

I really ought to fill in my mood diary this afternoon although knowing it will be overly in the negative field I'm rather putting it off. Physically seeing how challenging things have been mood wise reinforces the low mood-not so good.

What will tomorrow bring? More rain? More guilt? More exhaustion? I need to be patient and confident that things will lift for me. They always do. Yet I'm impatient for change. Sleep will help but I fear I need more than that. How do I regain what little confidence I have at times like this? I swing from one extreme to the other. And I see it so often in my students yet why can I not follow what I preach? What is it they say "healer, heal thyself"? We make bad patients. I'm missing the governors meeting for the Trust tonight, I simply don't have the energy. Well I suppose they will have to do without me.

Perhaps I will blog tomorrow. I'm sure people are bored of my ramblings when I'm finding the going tough. Stick with me and with time I will get better.

I Heard a Voice.