There is little more I can add to the outpouring of comments, tears and anger following the terrible events in Paris on Friday. Words cannot convey my feelings. I try not to be political on here but the spectacle of war unleashed all those years ago just goes on. In the West here we hear of Paris. Yet in Turkey, Lebanon and of course Syria itself the agony is rarely reported over here. I do not see an end. Nor am I important enough to change anything other than by my humanity, humility and gratitude for being a relatively safe place.
Much closer to home I had a more personal loss. Readers of A Pillar of Impotence may recall several references to my school friend Trapper. When I had my breakdown he simply invited me to stay any time I wanted. Out in the country with his family is was like manna from heaven to get away. As ever I overdid it and found myself separating from that life in mid 1990s just as Trapper was diagnosed with his own terrible illness. I regret not going back in times past. Now it is too late. He succumbed last week to MS after a battle lasting nearly 20 years. Few people I have ever met were as kind, generous and warm hearted as Trapper.
And what of my life on this dull Sunday? Going to dad's was a good plan. I should have gone earlier. Yet as we head towards Monday and what is expected a return to work I remain dog tired, my anxiety is building and my mood is at best apathetic. Back to deciding in the morning I suppose. Let's hope I sleep. The nightmares came back last night. The last thing I need.
May report back tomorrow.
I Heard a Voice.
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