An Ill Wind Blows.

Bitter, freezing winds have swept over the country in the last few days. Winter is hanging on.

Feels a little bit like my life at the moment. Having been battered by ill winds for the best part of q year I'm wondering when things will brighten up. Where will the next knife come from?

I feel very isolated. Isolated even in a crowd. There was a crowd this afternoon as I sat in a freezing cold garden waiting for someone to turn up for a surprise birthday party. My days of parties feel long ago. In my loneliness this afternoon I remembered all the parties I've been to and realise they all made me anxious.

That awful thing that bedevils me so much. Friends try to help, to support and to praise but it all feels so empty. 

I do still have my kitchen though. Tonight there will be Dover sole. A chilled bottle of Picpoul de Pinet, some new potatoes and some green beans I think. 

What will tomorrow bring? Hopefully the latest knife wound will start to heal. I need that.

I Heard a Voice. 

Through the Brooding Fens.

In a beautiful but desolate fenland landscape we walked in the morning through the black earthed fields past skeletal trees. Bleak but stunning. 

The sky is grey but it is mild. I'm on my annual trip here to watch the Super Bowl. 

So good to get away. Work anxiety followed me when I woke but I'm feeling good. 

Lunch at The Prince Albert in Ely, lovely Black Sheep ale, dates wrapped in bacon then grilled and served in a mustard sauce, roast beef and a glass of Malbec. 

My return home commences late tomorrow morning. It's half term but we are still going to the office. Seems odd but that is the expectation. 

Time is passing quickly. How events unfold I don't know but I do know I'm working very hard, I've learned from the many mistakes I made a year ago and hopefully the outcome will be good. 

See you soon.

I Heard a Voice  

Tudor Music on a Sunday.

The sun is out. The air is cold but the days are getting longer. Is winter on the retreat?

You find me in my little part of Hertfordshire tired but good. The working week was exhausting, some triumph and some not so triumphant. In the end though at least I did some good. 

Not been out yet or seen anyone. Starting the morning with a change of music. First to Beethoven's String Trios and now to a trio of wonderful Tudor masses. A time of fear, paranoia, disease and turbulence but what music?

Singing it all as a child we didn't understand it nor appreciate the brilliance of it. Another day so it's Byrd. Or Weelkes, or Tallis, or Gibbons. A rich period in history. 

The culinary adventures today included a mojame and nectarine salad with pine nuts and a date molasses dressing. Tonight there will be roast pork. 

This coming week will be busy and challenging. But next weekend is a long one with my annual visit to Miriam and Nigel for the Super Bowl. 

That's enough for now, enjoy your Sunday and have a good week. 

I Heard a Voice.