For a few hours there this morning the day looked brighter. Barely seen the sun physically or mentally for days. When I eventually did emerge after another troubled then extended sleep it was lovely to see that sun. It's all gone now and returned to the dull grey of the recent past.
Having held off all week in the hope of a swift return to reality and normally I have finally conceded that I do need to increase my medication at least for the time being. The nether world of nothing is beckoning. It is a horrible place to be but sometimes a necessary evil to right the un-right.
Not sure how that will impact on my visit to see dad tomorrow. Having made that decision to abandon this week to the greater good I will probably have a less frantic trip down. Sleep will no doubt feature heavily but it will be good to see him in waking moments. With luck by Monday I will be back on track assuming I didn't leave the increase too late. I should really have done it earlier.
When I do get back I will have to arrange someone to come round and fix my door, in danger of being locked out of main part of flat owing to a failed catch mechanism. These things are sent to try us. In the meantime the door remains propped open, colder but safer.
This afternoon I'm once again with Handel, the oratorio Israel in Egypt. It's so gloomy even now I think I need a light on to read. Read and pass the slow hours. Why does time slow down when I'm struggling?
I probably won't post again until I'm back, dad is having some problems with his PC. So see you all in a few days.
I Heard a Voice.
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