Twilight Full Moon.

I left my flat at about 6.30 tonight on my way to visit my friend Lin who is standing in for Yang at the Fu Hao whilst she is on a cruise. It was dusk outside as this spring emerges from the shadows of winter and twilight beckoned. Up the hill and round the corner I was confronted by a beautiful pale full moon in the fading light. I think it is full, maybe tomorrow. On this day of savagery in Belgium it brought me back to the good that is in nature and the world. I can do nothing to end this war but I can try to be mindful of the world around and ground myself in such solace.

In my small part of the world I am sometimes saddened by being right. Some years ago I wrote a post for Time to Change exposing the truth of mental health professionals' attitudes to those written off with personality disorders. They refused to publish it as was and only released it in the highly sanitised version. Once again I was proved correct yesterday. A young woman's life is now damned forever. Voices dismissed as "pseudo" and grow up attitude.

I have become old, disillusioned and cynical on my working world. I pretty much know the outcome for most of my students within a couple of visits. Sometimes even earlier. I take no credit in being right today. We don't think often enough of those who flounder at university and are cast off as "withdrawn". They remain on a system but we know little of their futures.

Often I accused of dismissing my achievements. Yet as I have said all along I'm only as good as the students I can help. On this day it seems to matter little. But it does to those we cast off as failures. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had my breakdown occurred 3 months earlier. There would have been no Cambridge degree. Would I have been cast into the outer darkness? We will never know.

I Heard a Voice.