Up until 4 years ago 28th March held little significance for me. I have 2 friends with birthdays but the world of Facebook has many birthdays brought each day so no more significant than any other date. Then in 2012 all changed in my life. For on that day my mum died after getting into difficulty in the sea the previous day.
It seems like yesterday. She would have been 84 had she lived. On this day I woke very anxious and edgy. The dreams were bad which is always a poor way to start. It is a feeling she knew well as her last years were overwhelmed by anxiety. In a way I wish I had booked this week off. But I didn't have enough leave days left. Had it been a work day I would have thought hard about moving. Today it was hard to even get out of bed.
I don't feel like doing much and have a sense of not fitting. Restless is a good word for it with a complete lack of motivation. Let us hope it only lasts a short time.
A fierce storm hit southern England today. I'm hoping Miriam made it down to dad's as planned. They will mourn together and I will alone. No pilgrimage to the memorial for me although I did manage to go back in January.
I will leave you all now and quietly shut off from the world for today. May the day pass without incident.
I Heard a Voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment