For many years now I have been a fan of Inspector Morse. I must have seen each episode at least half a dozen times if not more. Still today I watch if it is repeated. John Thaw is long dead of course but one of his two defining characters lives on.
This afternoon I watched an old episode and as the credits rolled at the end to the haunting music I noted that that episode came out in 1989. So long ago it got be thinking. So long indeed that it was before I got ill. I was in my first and second years at Cambridge during that calender year. After some initial loneliness things picked up that year as we headed for the next decade. I recall it as a happy time.
The funny thing looking back now is that my life was a mess even before I met Rachel. When I talk of my experience in my lectures I always say that if my life had been fine then I probably would not have had a breakdown. The foundations of my life were built on sand not clay. And we all know what poor foundations lead to.
I find it hard to recall not being ill. The key to recovery in my preaching world is not to go back to what was before. That is impossible after years of mental illness. Recovery is about making changes and moving forward not looking back. That is the essence of Charon's Ferry.
Today I find myself low and wanting to be alone. I'm listening to Offenbach which is marvellous but I don't want to face the world. Yet I have a friend coming for dinner so I will don the mask for the sake of the roast chicken and hope to feel better tomorrow. For is then that I have to go back to reality.
I Heard a Voice.
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