Crisis management in my world can give me quite a buzz. In the run up I'm full of nervous energy. Yes there are nerves but there is the thrill of for once in my life being important even if only for a brief few hours. The athlete in the starting blocks is full of focus. My athletic days are long behind me but the buzz is still there. Yet sometimes I have to spend hours in those starting blocks.
As I predicted the fallout from my bizarre book launch continued to run. I was put on alert last night. An update at 8.30 this morning filled me on what might occur today. That took up all my focus in a taut morning. The call never came and I stood down at lunch time. The upshot is I'm still behind and yet again my plan did not work out.
It has been an odd week. The strange triumph followed by finding out I had achieved enough for a distinction in my MSc module. I cannot get a distinction over all as I have been granted 90 out of 180 credits already but still very pleased and surprised.
Late this afternoon my great friend Geri asked why it was I always downplay what I do and my achievements. The answer is simple, being deemed a narcissist at the age of 23 and told my whole life was a delusion did for that. That is what underlies my apparent modest exterior. It is only when my mood is too elevated that the truth comes out about what I really think. That usually gets me into trouble so I try to avoid that.
And now the weekend. Study, rugby and a roast ham. No idea what's on the menu tomorrow; I will see what the shop has to offer tomorrow.
I Heard a Voice.
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