Want, Desire, Greed.

Some might argue that the Western world is afflicted with greed. Everywhere we see shops, adverts, cars, restaurants, people displaying a wealth beyond the wildest dreams of many in the world. I live in a relatively peaceful country. I get to vote. I can read what I like, watch what I like and within some boundaries say what I like. And buy what I like...assuming I have the money.

On a glorious day my travels took me back to the lake of old. Shoals of fish were all over, the surface glittering in the sunshine. Shiny, glittery. Beautiful. With my meeting over I took a wander round the shops during my lunch break. A sudden desire to spend hit me. Had I been more reckless or had more money or had bipolar I might have emerged laden, poorer and beaming.

The haul would have contained three suits, a dinner suit (that is a tuxedo to some in the world), a linen blazer, several shirts, two pairs of trousers and a whole pile of books. That I resisted the desire for all of these things is a relief. But it got me thinking that so much of my world here in Hertfordshire is about want, desire and greed.

Composing a text to a great friend who has bipolar and is not as lucky as me in ability to stay well and work consistently I rather amused both of us with the following:

1 How often do I wear a suit?
2 How often do I wear black tie?
3 I can only wear one suit at a time.
4 I have five blazers already two of which are linen.
5 My flat is littered with things I have bought and never use.
6 I have a dozen books waiting to be read but not enough time to read them.
7 Desire is not the same as need.
8 Greed is not a virtue.

Had I had bipolar for real the outcome would have differed. In my more limited mood problem, at least going up, I was able resist what I coveted. After a couple of wonderful spending months when I overdid things it was not time to be reckless. I did not need any of those things. Yet simply the desire has made me ponder closely exactly what my mood is doing to me at the moment.

Back home on a warm evening opera night is under way with Mozart and I will return to D H Lawrence after writing this post.

I Heard a Voice.