Thursday 29 October 2015

Why Now?

Some years ago my great friend and former supervisor Jacek wrote in a reference for me that I was "a one man CMHT and crisis team all rolled into one." I arrived at the University with a mix of anxiety, trepidation, excitement, ambition, confidence and fear in 2007. From that moment on a significant number of crises landed on my desk to sort out. Someone had to sort them and mostly during the day it was me. With the exception of the extraordinary Geri who did far more than me that was the expectation. A lot was laid at my door and most of the time I sorted it.

After some years of this and realising I was doing all the dirty work and getting paid very little for it I challenged the status quo on exactly why this was. My then  manager failed to back me as she thought it would damage her pet friends. Ever since have been trying to leave.

Suddenly all these years later a crisis happens on a day I'm not in and all hell break loose. We must have a flow chart, a plan, a safe working policy, we must not take risks. All well and good but if as we have found we cannot rely on others to deal with it for us what exactly do we do?

Much of this I explored in my MSc work. That was seen by far more important people than me but ignored. It brings me no joy to realise I had been right all along. I do not know what the outcome of all this will be but what I do know is all my work over the last 8 years will not help me at all. Still in the same boat. And who will be called out when shit and fan collide? I think you know the answer to that. I've been doing it a long time.

I Heard a Voice.

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