They say that it is calm in the eye of the hurricane. Today feels finally like the eye of an epic storm that his simply engulfed me and others this week. You will recall from my last post how difficult it is to be powerless in the face of a crisis. You will also recall my long recorded fears that I was simply not energised or stable or anxiety free enough to meet the demands of the new academic year. Well it got worse.
On Tuesday with the bullets flying and being completely out of control I lost it and went into meltdown. Once upon a time I walked out on a job after I was asked to fake some paperwork. For very different reasons I got to that point again that afternoon. Not sleeping at all the night before probably precipitated this meltdown.
A series of emergency meetings and the offer to take time out ensued yesterday but I chose to fight on. Now at home after a day that has been like a mill pond compared to earlier maybe for one night only my ship lies at anchor in the eye of the storm.
Given what is in the media a meltdown in young people's mental health services we and other universities are reaping the whirlwind created beyond our control. Universities are now facing an epidemic of mental health crises.
I fear for tomorrow but at least today I feel okay. I will have a nice dinner, read and try to enjoy the peace. It may not last long.
I Heard a Voice.
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