Simply a Conversation.

Some years ago, I would estimate 4 maybe, after a long and tough day on which I had simply had enough, I walked the few yards to The Hedgehog just to get out. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I simply wanted a pint and calm down. A man sat at the bar I'd never seen before started talking to me. He was a big man but he had that look in his eye, the look of the mad. He told me he had lost everything, his wife, his business, his house. He was on the floor and I suspect pretty close to suicide.

Despite not wanting to have that sort of conversation in my switch off time I did talk. I had a conversation. I told him my advice. I'm not sure what he made of this short, balding random guy talking weirdness and pills in an estate pub in run down part of Hertfordshire. But he listened.

He did go to his Doctor. He did follow my advice. He did give up cocaine. And he began to get his life back together. I'd known him a few months and then he disappeared.

Last night had came back looking for me. He had come in specifically to see me. He told me it had been 3 1/2 years since he left. But what I told him had worked. His life is back on track, he's off the pills, and lavishing undeserved praise on me. And all I did was have a conversation. That is what I do. There is no magic. People tell me their lives, I say what I think and sometimes it works. I just talk to people.

I feel ashamed he thinks so much of me. I am utterly flawed. My upbeat but ashamed mood sadly didn't last beyond the dreaded Tuesday afternoon meeting. Change should happen. If it doesn't I need to change something. If I wanted to go back into group therapy I would pay for it. I don't want to be forced to do it for the needs of others.

I Heard a Voice.