As summer turned to autumn way back in 1995 my life started to change. It was 5 years after I first got ill. I had had 2 inpatients stays, survived a significant suicide attempt, identified almost exclusively with the mad for too long and lost so much of who I had been before. That all changed in 1995 and slowly but surely the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. On 30th August 1995 nearly 60 people attended a birthday party for me with people who were not mad. Less than a week later I met Caroline Latham who just calls herself a healer and for the first time in 5 years I had a glimpse of what wellness might look like.
The Buddhist in her kept stressing to me that I must de-clutter physically and mentally. Emptying all the shit of my life was hard and I never did completely succeed but I did eventually get to a point where life seemed worthwhile again.
Today I moved into my 4th office of my now nearly 7 1/2 year tenure as Mental Wellbeing Advisor at the University. It is no longer just mine; I turned down an office to myself. It is clinical, hot as a sauna and feels like a call centre. But we will make it work. And today I started to de-clutter all the shit I have accumulated in that time. God it is hard work.
Fancying a wander at lunch time I found the sushi bar had no sushi. I'm still gripped by whatever this ailment is. But I survived. I get to see my GP tomorrow; something of a miracle seeing him twice in 2 months.
I hope I'm getting there. Thanks to all of you who have looked on here in the last few days. My audience is back and that in itself lifts my mood a little. It will be a long haul to Easter but if I can shake this current affliction I'm hopeful we will survive this 8th year away.
See you soon.
I Heard a Voice
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