Herons and Dragonflies.

The long, cold, dark days of January seem a long time ago now. The lake by my office was at times surrounded by snow and covered in ice. It was savage in its beauty. Well at least that was on the days when I made it off the ice rink that was the carpark by my flat to make it to work. January was the last time I managed to see my Doctor. He likes to see me 2-4 times a year to monitor me. Is it wise to keep a track on my mood disorder in the absence of enough madness to warrant the attentions of a shrink? Of course. Yet it never happens; we are both too busy. When I left him I had the form for my annual blood test linked to the consumption of risperidone.

It is now late June. The snow and ice has gone but cold overcast days prevail at times. In the last few days the heron and the dragonflies have returned to the lake. It has a different beauty now. Today I finally managed to set aside enough time to go and get the bloodtest as well as remembering the form. I went early to try to get to work. Big mistake. 1 hour 45 minutes later I emerged with a plaster over my vein, my blood taken and my mood surprisingly intact. It doesn't really bother me waiting. What did bother me was the plethora of pensioners moaning about how long it was taking. I wonder what was so pressing that they all had to go first? Are retired people that busy? By the time I retire I will probably be well into my 70s and have little to live on. But I can't do anything about that.

Today was boring. No students and tedious administrative things to do. It was rare respite. At the moment I am managing 3 crises-is it really summer? That was after another night of dreams; I was up 3 times. The odd thing was I had 2 different dreams involving my mum. Or should I say 1 not involving my mum. What linked them was that 1 was set prior to and 1 after she died. Dreams never ceased to amaze me.

We have 2 months to go in the summer.  I think mentally I'm okay. But my life has changed little. And by God do I need change. Where will it come from? Some will say fate, some destiny, and my dad through prayer. I'm not wise enough to know.

Viewing figures are buoyant at the moment, 2nd highest ever. Keep coming and do speak to me if you like; I don't bite!

I Heard a Voice.