Living With Uncertainty.

Yesterday I was talking to one of my bipolar students. His tutor tells me he is a once in a generation student. I am well aware of his brilliance. However, bipolar has cost him almost all of this year. He is talking of walking away. But that would let bipolar win. Can we ever let our illnesses win?

Well I did for years. I'm much more in control now but there is forever that fear. The fear it will come back. I tcomes of all of us with a mood disorder. Him and me. I think by the end I had talked him out of leaving.

But what of me? It has been a week of erratic mood swings. Days where for no reason I feel low. Days of no energy and others of being fine. It is hard to live with uncertainty. That is my life though, forever living with a brain that cannot control my mood properly.

I feel somewhat better today and less tired. I slept okay for nearly 10 hours with a couple of dream interruptions-nothing bad though. Not done much beside watch the cricket; that is not going well. I have just made a cottage pie to put in the oven later and will return to that old staple of mine slow roast shoulder of pork tomorrow. Even bought some fennel to roast with it. If you have never tried fennel with pork give it a go, it is wonderful.

Now I think it is time for Darjeeling tea.

I Heard a Voice.

PS This is post number 150-can't believe I have had that much to say in the last couple of years!