Of all the stock phrases trotted out by people when talking about mental illness the one that says "sometimes it's a struggle just to get out of bed" is amongst the most common. It certainly held sway back in those long dark days before Christmas when I was really struggling. For reasons I don't quite understand it all came back today.
Strange as I have been doing so much better in recent weeks. But try as I might I simply couldn't get up today. It all seemed black and pointless. But emerge I did with a great deal of effort and a huge amount of reluctance.
So what of this day that seemed so unpromising? Well it's warm and the rain has disappeared. I summoned the energy to get to the shop for a paper and with even more effort made some lunch. Puccini plays quietly in the background but none of this is anything to lift my mood. Flat and lifeless. My old boss at Social Services would have called this a duvet day-get away from reality day. Sadly such days do not exist so I will drudge on despite really wanting to go back to bed.
Let us all hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day. Until then, bye.
I Heard a Voice.
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