My love of Rick Stein's cookery programmes and books is well known on here. Of the all the many series-I've seen each episode at least 15 times-the ones I love most are the Food Heroes series. Championing small producers, artisan makers and the wonderfully diverse food in this sceptred isle it brings back a thoughts of happier, simpler and more gentle times. The first series filmed in 2002 is being repeated this week. A warm glow of olden days which are now 13 years ago.
But were they so good and gentle? We were a year on from 9/11. War was upon us all. The British countryside was ravaged by the foot and mouth outbreak. And I was in desperate need of a job. I came off benefits late that year as I finally found a pair of part time jobs that actually paid a small amount to live on. It would be another 9 months before I finally found a full time job and moved out.
It is good to recall the finer memories of that struggle. I loved living at JB's. I started writing A Pillar of Impotence. I cooked and cooked and cooked. Yet it was never enough. I was always driven to do more, try harder and run faster to escape my past.
Now all these years later I find myself in another world. I never escaped my past and remain at times unhappy in my present. Why am I never content and satisfied? Will I find that some day? I don't know.
But back to today I have not been at my best. Feeling nauseous all day I have barely eaten. It has the feel of last night's dinner not being quite right. Let's hope for better feeling tomorrow.
I Heard a Voice.
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