A Further Blow.

That my life has not been great for the last few weeks is something of an understatement. Waking late this morning I did not feel much further on in my quest to get well again. The effects of mental ill health are stubbornly hanging onto me. What I didn't need was another hammer blow.

Said blow came this afternoon with a text out of the blue from my landlord saying he is getting rid of the flat and I will have to move. Suddenly a shift in gear kicked in and all those terrible fears of 2007 and 2009 about finding somewhere and going through the stress of moving came flying back.

Can this really be happening again? Already I feel overwhelmed and my mind is out of control. Yes people will help, they always do but the magnitude of what I face is racing away in my mind. Why does this have to happen now? Well at all.

While it is true my stay has not been exactly happy all the time. Trouble with heating and plumbing has plagued me ever since I moved in. There was little security and I was at the whim of others most of that time. I have often cursed the decision I made to move here but the thought of finding an alternative was just too much.

Now that decision has been forced on me. I do not know timescales yet, hopefully I will be given some time. I will go to estate agents tomorrow to look. Dad will help as he so often does. Thoughts of going back to reality now seems further away than ever.

And so on what has been grim day for me I wave goodbye for now. The mind will I suspect race from now until whenever and wherever I move.

I Heard a Voice.