Funny how quickly fortunes change. After several days of fluctuating between fear, anxiety, anger and sheer pressure I am now serenely out the other side. A day can make a big difference. My low ebb is banished at least for the time being.
Barring some figures for which I need the calculator in my office the assignment is complete. Whether it is a right or not only time will tell but I'm hugely relieved it is done. When I get in tomorrow I will complete the final table and submit. I have hot water and heating although the latter was not really needed today. No one has pissed me off. And I'm off to Cambridge tomorrow.
It was a day away from the office. We were recruiting students to be employed as our residential assistants next year. I've never been invited along before but it was fun and they seemed to appreciate my insight into people and what they would be like when shit hits the fan at 3 am-I won't be there then. I was very impressed with the standard.
We have a rather larger than life member of the Housing team who studied at the university. Big and bubbly of Nigerian descent she is known to say what she feels. Sat next to her at lunch today she said to me you are wasted in this place. Why aren't you a consultant? All very flattering and I have heard such comments before but it is not true. I'm only as good as the people I can help. There are even some consultants who hold the same view.
It will never happen though. As I've said before I'm not one of the club. I'm an outsider who has to keep proving myself. Who knows what will happen after I get my MSc. That depends on change. If it doesn't happen I will leave. But where to? Oh yes I'm not one of the club. So I'm restricted. I never make long term plans. I doubt I ever will. Life is just too random for that.
More soon.
I Heard a Voice
PS "The Marriage of Figaro" has been a splendid accommpaniment to my studies tonight.
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