Looking out the window I see a dull unassuming day here in Hertfordshire. No it isn't my office window which is main has the blinds half closed. The view I have is of the carpark out the back of my flat. It feels cold although I have no idea what it is like really to go outside; not been there. I'm not sure if it cold or the shivers of the mystery ailment that has felled me for the last couple of days.
Yesterday was a day of churning stomach and feeling nauseous. It was accompanied by minor aches and shivers. Feeling pretty shitty I left work in the late morning and went to bed. Not much sleep so I gave up and just stared at the TV. I barely ate yesterday. It was followed by a restless night and many bad dreams. The one that woke me this morning was of sewers of blood-not good.
When I did wake up my stomach was more settled but I had no hunger. It is now lunch time and I have no desire to eat. Instead though the aching and shivering has increased and is now accompanied by a sore throat and lots of gutteral coughing. What is going on? I really hope passes soon. I've already given up on day time TV and turned instead to my beloved Mozart. Idomeneo is on the menu today. I've also made a start on Jerome K Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat". It is very good but in a strange way it has made me realise quite how much the spoken English has changed even in my life time. Words we heard as children are the same the ones Jerome wrote in the late 19th century. Most of those words have gone now. Perhaps it was more gentle time in the days of my childhood.
Mentally I feel uneasily empty. This is in sharp contrast to my thoughts 24 hours ago; my mind was on fire. But no more.
If I can muster up the energy this afternoon I will fill in the nomination papers to become a governor of HPFT my local mental health Trust. I wonder if I have chance? I hope whatever happens I have the skills they need. I'm certain of my experience but is that enough? Time will tell.
I Heard a Voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment