A gentle drizzle has descended after a hazy day at the seaside. I don't think I will see a fiery sunset tonight. I have escaped once again to Kent to see dad, recuperate and catch up with old friends. As ever time has gone too fast and my four day long weekend is heading towards a journey home tomorrow.
Along the beach the last couple of days there have been lots of dogs...I'm not a fan...lots of people, a beach in chaos due to sea defence work and curiously quiet gulls. For the second day in a row I walked along the beach and was struck by how different it was today. Spring is here despite the drizzle. The sun has shone in the main and people are out and about.
When I was last here it was bitterly cold and snow bound. I am guilty of taking this quiet seaside haven for granted when I lived here. So long ago. More than a decade since I packed up my life and moved north. In those days I had big dreams. I had big confidence. And the world seemed to be running for me.
So what of today? I'm still doing the same job with little chance of moving on. I have not been at that job since before Christmas with holidays and illness. I met with Lena on Thursday and I hope we are a step closer to a return. A referral to Occupational Health will be made. They tend to know little about mental health so that will not be a problem. Then and only then will my life go back to some sort of normality.
The question then is what is going to be different? From what I can glean so far the ludicrous volume of my caseload will change little. I do not believe it is safe to carry a caseload as large as I've had to do in recent years. That is a stated fact and maybe I will be chastised for saying so. But if there is one thing I'm known for it is telling the truth. Even if that truth is not what people want to hear.
I have been offered a psychology appointment a week tomorrow. That will be intriguing. I'm not sure I would want to treat me but I'm certainly of more an open mind and less anguished and angry mindset than when I last saw such people.
That is all to come. For tonight though I relish being away, the sea and the many friends I have caught up with over this extended weekend. See you in the week.
I Heard a Voice.
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