The summer of 2007 was marred by incessant rain, cold and overwhelming anxiety. It was my last summer in Kent and my desire to enjoy a final few months by the sea was washed away by damp and fear. Yes this time a decade ago I was preparing to uproot my life and come here. Little did I know that I would be in the same job all these years later. Dad commented at the time "what is the career progression in that?" It seemed a most unkind comment at the time. I had pulled off something of a coup fighting off many with far more on paper than me and been appointed to a new venture.
That that venture has been bumpy and tumultuous at times is an understatement. Much has gone well, much less so. Change has been constant and at times unhappiness. As I sit here on this dull July evening in the summer of 2017 I do not know what to make of the world. I'm approaching 50 and where am I? In truth I don't know. Will I move on or is this my lot in life?
Most of yesterday was spent trying to create process and system to what I started ten years ago. Will it work? Maybe but I have my doubts. I was put in a position that I didn't choose yesterday to tell of my life. I would rather do it on my own terms not dictated to me. I'm getting rather tired of telling my story. The books seem like ancient history today. Will I write again? Given how much I have written on here since starting in 2010 there doesn't really seem much point in writing another book.
So as I contemplate what has been and what will be to come I am facing a quiet Saturday night. I have brought forward opera day owing to the ongoing Test match. Handel tonight, Orlando. After this I will retire once again to E M Forster. He writes so beautifully. Might have to buy some more of his books once my awaiting pile has been reduced somewhat.
Whatever you may be up to this weekend, have fun. Time marches on so we had better make the most of it.
I Heard a Voice.
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