Today was a day of glorious spring sunshine. After such a mild winter-so different the the last 2 years-spring has come early. The bulbs are coming out and it is pleasurable being out in the day time sun. But isn't the sun supposed to burn off the morning mists? Maybe in the real world that is the case. I am still out of touch with that.
My mood has not shifted. It is neither good nor back. Flat and uninterested seems to pervade my mind. I am not where I was mentally 10 days ago. But I have come to a halt. I long for those days where my mood soars. That may piss some people off but isn't that where all of us with mood disorders long to be?
Having been stuck in my flat since I returned home on Sunday I decided today to venture further afield. So I went to fill up with petrol and to visit my Chinese friend in the Wednesday market. After that I wandered round a shopping centre. There were many things I wanted to buy but I saved my scarce money. My only spend on a good cappuccino from my Italian friend.
When I got home I thought I had wasted the day. Must get on, must get on! So I wrote chapter 37 of the book. It recalled a dark time in my life with the death of a friend and mentor and another enforced move of house. They were hard times but nowhere near as I feel now. When will it end? I have no doubt it will end though.
I have 2 more days of my time off. Time maybe to get better perhaps. I need to be motivated to carry on back to my world. There is little but the kind loyalty of my readers who suddenly feel the need to read my ramblings.
Thank you to you all.
I Heard a Voice.
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