Some time after I was supposed to go I went for my long awaited blood test today. You may recall that back in January I had a very demoralising conversation with a nurse at my surgery about cholesterol and going on a diet. That seems an awfully long time ago now. I certainly lost weight. I have tried to stick to healthier things but recently found myself increasingly slipping into bad habits. Aware of that I kind of put off my blood test until today.
Should there be an unhappy outcome and my mission has failed they will pressurise me into going on statins. I know little about them apart from having to give up grapefruit. Now that would be a real shame as I like a pink grapefruit every now and again. Am I really anxious? In the grand scheme of my battles it is not that great a deal. But a shame all the same.
On this rather humid but dull Wednesday evening near the end of August anxiety and low mood are at bay. Last time I posted I was a bit all over the place. The news that contributed to that state has not gone away. Nor do I think it is likely to. It has already been decided by others and there is nothing I can do about it.
What it has left me with is further doubt and lack of belief. Has all I have achieved in the last ten years really got me nowhere? I have done quite a lot of reflection today. That can be a dangerous thing but I'm on an even keel right now.
I have chosen Handel tonight, his Oratorio Belshazzar. I had a simple supper of Chinese Dan Dan Mian noodles. Never done them before and my improvisation worked well-I do not care to deep fry as suggested in the recipe. With A Passage to India complete I'm about to start Ernest Hemingway's Green Hills of Africa. I'm hoping it is not as brutal and raw as Death in the Afternoon which was the first of his works I struggled through a few years ago.
My holiday begins at 4 pm on Friday. I will catch the train down to see dad. So a few ales in The Butt of Sherry Friday night then my friend Helen's wedding on Saturday. So long since I was down there, dad's party in March was last time. Will I once again have the sense of wanting one day to return?
Will probably post from down there on Sunday.
I Heard a Voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment