On this day every year we celebrate mental health and think of all those affected by it. World Mental Health Day is meant to highlight, educate and speak out about mental health. As my friend Alex put it on Facebook earlier "I am Alex, a man with depression".
I have been speaking out about mental illness for many years most recently of course through this blog. So to reiterate I am Mark and I have a mental illness. That illness has been called many things most of which were unhelpful but I hope that by my work and writings and speaking I can in some small way enlighten, challenge and do my little bit to bring about change.
Sadly on this day of celebration another tragedy has struck which will no doubt bring out another witch hunt. A world famous academic stabbed to death by a psychotic man. That man was a young Nigerian student haunted by voices and delusions fuelled by cannabis. Such tragedies are thankfully rare but as his grieving widow calls for an enquiry I know what it will say before it is even opened.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37609475
Schizophrenia, drug and or alcohol use, stopped taking medication and agencies failing to talk to each other. We simply cannot lock up everyone or indeed honestly and safely assess risk. I have to assess risk all the time. Most of the time I do it well but there is always that one one gets wrong.
Tonight those in the mad community are saddened and frightened of what happens next. Mental illness can be so cruel.
Yet I cannot dwell tonight on immense sadness. I must continue to live. And with that life Verdi brightens up my mood, fine wine soothes my anguish and the steak was beautifully rare. Another day done and I must move on to the next. In my rage of the early years of my madness I never believed I would ever achieve the relatively tranquil state of this Monday night.
I Heard a Voice
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