Sounds of Teenage Angst.

In the days before Madonna took the musical world by storm in around 1984 there was another brash and eccentric American woman singer with a squeaky voice, wild hair and outrageous dress sense. Her name was and is Cyndi Lauper. It's hard believe all these years later that she was once bigger than Madonna. She was Lady Gaga years before Lady Gaga.

Earlier in the week whilst wandering aimlessly around HMV trying to escape the chaos for an hour I found her first album She's So Unusual in a sale. The whole world knows that girl power anthem Girls Just Want to Have Fun. It still plays at all the parties of 40 somethings throughout the land. It was not really for that that I bought it for. I had my years of rage and teenage angst in the 1980s and that album was part of my backing track of melancholy. Money Changes Everything, Time After Time, When You Were Mine all featured in that curious time of chaos and pain before we end our childhood.

Looking back now I already had significant signs of mood disorder and mental illness back then. It just didn't explode and destroy my life until I was 20. Some of those songs were woven into the fabric of my madness. Not about me as the psychiatrists arrogantly suggested but representing the words and emotions that I could not express. It was not until A Pillar of Impotence  hit the world that I was really able to put words to that pain.

Much has passed since then but I was still moved by the music of my madness; just not destroyed. Back at home I dined on rare steak, potatoes sauteed in duck fat, minted peas and Rioja to the more sedate accompaniment of J S Bach. What a contrast.

In what passes for my career I'm still up against it. I did nothing but answer the phone on Monday. The events of last Thursday are still taking much of my time but so be it. And at the end of each day I reflect. Did I do some good today? In the main yes. I'm holding up well but struggling to keep up. The other fear is my studies. Hardly got off the ground with them and I need to get going. Maybe the weekend will bring respite. We will see. Until next time adios.

I Heard a Voice.