A Food Festival came to town today. And so did the rain. What a shame after the recent good fortune we have had that rain and cold could mar such an occasion. I didn't let it spoil things too much, spent time with friends, had a wonderful smoked German sausage and a pint of local ale. And I got to see my friend Lorna's little girl for the first time.
As we are at the weekend I am reflecting on an odd week. Highs and lows, confusion, joy, enlightenment and disappointment. It was ever thus I suppose. After a poor night's sleep it would be easy to feel all is lost and retreat from the world.
That I will not do though. To warm us all up on this dreary day I'm cooking a chorizo and chickpea stew for my friends. They are still down in town drinking so I suspect they may be red faced and boozy when they get here but I don't mind.
My trip to Cambridge yesterday proved to be a lot of fun. I had to force myself to go through with it though as that waking fear still beguiles and torments me and draws me close to cancelling everything I set out to do. Frank Gardner was an excellent speaker. I sat with my friend Hugh whom I've not seen all year. And I enjoyed Greek food for lunch and Thai food for dinner.
I suspect I will feel a little edgy much of the day tomorrow as that creeping fear of what if will haunt my planned return to campus. For yes on Monday I will go in for the first time since January to see Occupational Health. They did not specify who I will see but I know them all there. My mind is already churning on what will happen once we meet. Will it be back Tuesday? Later in the week? Or indeed the following week? That nagging doubt in the back of my mind whispers that they won't let me back at all. If that happens things could unravel pretty quickly. Why does the anxious mind do that to me?
Before then though is Saturday night with friends followed by Sunday with roast beef. I must focus on the present, here and now. Not worry to what is to come.
I Heard a Voice.
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