Saturday 25 March 2017

Replay on Monday.

The cold rain sodden air of recent days has given way to beautiful spring sunshine. The flowers are out and the wind has died down a little. It is the weekend. It seems churlish to be doubtful and self pitying after my last post but given what a hard week it has been my end forgive me for feeling a little jaded and anxious. That was the toughest week I have had for some time. I didn't get back until gone 7.30 last night after an emotion filled, threatening and frightening day. Sadly as I noted a few weeks ago we have only delayed the inevitable. Sometimes we simply do not have the answers. And neither do our partners in the police and in the Trust. I suspect there will be a return match on Monday but let us hope it is resolved without anyone being hurt.

Given the week it was never going to be good sleeping the sleep of the dead rather than the fearful dream driven state that so besets the difficult weeks. It came to pass that once again terrible anxiety filled dreams took away my morning lie in. I was up and dressed far too early. Given that the clocks go forward tonight and I lose an hour of precious sleep that doesn't bode well.

I must though take advantage of this fine day at home and away from it all. A rare ribeye steak awaits later with a glass of Chianti. I bought some watercress and smoked mackerel on my travels and will combine those with so new potatoes and a horseradish dressing for a light lunch tomorrow. Then in the evening Gary is coming for roast chicken.

It is hard to tell where I am mentally. My fragile sense of self certainly took a battering this week. But I do not feel too low or anxious.

A couple of tough days are coming up closer to home. The always challenging Mother's Day tomorrow and the anniversary of mum's death on Tuesday. So I must make the most of today given the anticipated bumps coming up in the road ahead.

I Heard a Voice.

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