Rare is the occasion that I blog on a Friday. I certainly had no intention to come on here today. In truth I'm too tired and too hazy to do justice to my sometimes worthless trivia I share with you on here. The week has been exceedingly long, that's a given. But being so distracted and agitated when the week is over doesn't happen often.
All sounds quite cryptic I suppose. I'm not sure I know what I want to say tonight other than feeling powerless is one of the most soul destroying of human emotion. That is what happened today. A confusing and ever evolving story has been unfolding all week. And each step of the way as people look to me for answer I have been able to do little other than shrug my shoulders. I do not know all the answers. Well the mountain came to Mohammed not the other way round. And being completely powerless to do anything I advised a course of action that may be inadvisable but there was no alternative.
I do not know what I will go back to next week. Not often I feel out of my depth but I am now. It feels as if I have let others down. I'm full of a sense of failure that will no doubt when combined with the anxiety of uncertainly lead to a difficult weekend. It is Friday, Mozart plays, I have fine wine, I can sleep and I have a good book. But no my mind will not go to the good, only to the bad.
Reality may be different in the morning but on this Friday night when I should be at peace my mind is going over and over. These days it does stop after a while but remains an awful place to be until such time as it lets up.
I Heard a Voice.
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