Reprising History

Ever wonder about your roots? Where are they? What can you remember? How far back? Who populated your history? Or what? Until the last month or so I have been fairly unfamiliar with the writings of The Sunday Times columnist India Knight. Following one of many shake ups that happen in the only paper I read on a weekly basis she has come to my attention. I like her so far.

Last Sunday she wrote a most poignant piece about having spent the first 9 years of her life in Brussels and how so much was brought back by the recent tragedy there. Wondering what became of the places and people who populated her life then. And the awful devastation that will forever change that city.

I have never been through anything as life shattering as a terrorist attack. But her piece did make me think of my past. For although the town of Cambridge didn't come into my life until the very same age India left Brussels, it has left the most indelible print on my mind.

During the darkness of my madness the shrinks cautioned against going back. All these years later my friend Gary still feels I'm foolish in my desire to go back. But my 9 years spent there in 3 separate stints provide the most intense memories of my life.

There are some downsides to social media that I hear every day in my consulting room. But in the main it brings me joys. Many I felt I had lost came back. It has interest groups for me. The music and cricket places I go to are too often populated by pedants, racists and arrogant angry people. One up manship gone silly. But I also subscribe to a couple about old Cambridge. And each brings the joy of how those places used to be. They are gentle nostalgic groups shared by people with a love of Cambridge.

Will I ever return? Hopefully but the Cambridge of old is gone. My foolishness in the 1990s led me to believe I was owed another year. Yet that year was nothing like it had been and felt a disappointment. Too much of my life I have stood still. Not taken risks. Not taken decisions. We cannot get back to the past.

So I look for tomorrow as another day on a journey whose next turn I do not know. Handel accompanies for on that journey tonight. See you all tomorrow.

I Heard a Voice.