Hi out there, I made it through my first week back! Not long ago that would have seemed all but impossible. My post of Wednesday reflected the most challenged I felt all week. There has been a lot of change and I'm not certain where if anywhere I fit into all that but the end of the week was a little more manageable.
As I expected I have been pretty tired. Sounds silly only doing a few hours a day but it is ever thus when one returns from such a long sojourn away from reality. I'm still apprehensive about the future but a mantra of a day at a time will suffice for the time being.
On this rather humid Saturday afternoon I'm trying to keep going with tedious domesticity, shopping, washing and cleaning. Hadyn is my partner for the afternoon, shortly to return to do the dusting.
The kitchen delights remain a conundrum today. I have a few things in, smoked haddock for lunch followed by English strawberries. I'm trying to decide whether to consummate my pasta sauce I made last night or to pan fry plaice fillets with Jersey Royals and English asparagus. Feeling rather indecisive today. Whatever I do I think it will be okay.
During the week I started up on my mood diary again. For some reason, probably couldn't face how low I was, I neglected it during the long months of my recent downturn. We're hovering around about plus territory I think. It may sound odd but it is never easy to hear the social media chatter on the Queen's Birthday Honours. Inevitably with the Cambridge connections there is always someone I know or know of who gets a gong and reminds me once again that my life did not exactly go to plan. The expectation of Cambridge is way beyond anything I have ever been able to deliver in my life and sometimes reinforces that sense of being inadequate. Similarly when I get alumni magazines.
Yet as I learned in recent months many people I consider to be wildly successful have their battles not too dissimilar to mine. I just assume everyone is doing better than me. Well that ain't necessarily so.
Have good weekend.
I Heard a Voice.
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