Uninspiringly Grey.

In sharp contrast to yesterday, the grey and uninspiring dull of autumn has pervaded today. It's damp and unpleasant out and I'm struggling to stay warm. My cold carries on and is now accompanied by my neck problem of the summer reappearing. I'm not great with posture which probably doesn't help but when I sleep I sleep. I cannot help waking in pain.

Having sacrificed two days to my cold I did manage to escape gingerly to Kent. It is nice to be away but in truth neither dad nor I are at our best. A mild melancholy sits uneasily on my mind. Am I depressed or just going through an unwell autumn blues?

Sleep is foremost on my mind. I didn't wake until late despite the neck pain. Am I wasting my leisure time on being not good? The furthest I have ventured from dad's flat was to The Bell. As I sat with a glass of ale I reminisced on what had been in that establishment, once my local, now an after thought. Why does time press so fast? None of us had grey hair in those days. Despite my battles with mental illness there were some joyous times there. It is where I met Jayne. And so many others.

I'm saddened to learn that my great friend Mandy will be giving up her butcher shop in the new year. Another casualty of the laziness of modern life. One day good independent butchers will only exist in sepia photos on pub walls. Is this progress? Once we took for granted such special places. Now we miss them. The young will not remember much longer. The old ways are dying.

So on this dull Saturday back where I once was I'm trying to spin a good light on what is rather than what might have been. The cold will pass and I will be well again. And then it is back to the daily chaos of a career long in coming and fast in passing. Take care out there in the gloom.

I Heard a Voice.