Feeling Pretty Good.

All things considered I feel pretty good today. I had the most splendid birthday, good friends-no one else dropped out-a wonderful lunch although I suspect Dory scared the hell of the charming 16 year old waiter, and so many kind messages from others. I lost count of what I drank but took it fairly slowly so was no worse for wear today.

Today is the day after. Dank, cold and wet it reminds me more October. I got up late then went for a jaunt in the country with my neighbour to the fine hostelries of the village of Sandridge. I'd been to The Rose and Crown before with my friend Kym. The Green Man was new to me. I enjoyed both although they were very busy.

Back home I'm slow cooking a lamb Tandir, shoulder marinated in olive oil, rosemary, lemon juice, salt, pepper and dried oregano. Judging by the smell I'm in for a treat. Handel plays in the background and I can feel some reading coming along. I'm relieved I still have the best part of week recuperating. Work does not feel at all enticing at the moment.

Gently does it I think for the next few days, still tired and having broken sleep but hoping volume of sleep rather than quality bears fruit in the long run. Last post of August today, see you all in September.

I Heard a Voice.

That was Different.

My mum was a great expert on making not a lot go a long way. She grew up in poverty and learned the hard way. Thrift was so normal to her that she almost forgot that when times were no longer so hard it was okay to be a little self indulgent.

After growing up in these conditions I have very mixed views on offal. I've always loved kidneys. Tripe made me sick. And liver was only good on certain days. She cooked it forever as most people of her generation did. So now I cook I've been a little sceptical of this staple of poverty cooking. Always up for a challenge though I spent a grand total of 37p on a piece of liver to try. The result, seared 90 seconds on each side was a revelation. Mum would have had a fit but it was delicious. Definitely worth another go some time.

Another day has ticked by. More people have dropped out of my birthday lunch. It can't be helped sometimes but having to repeatedly contact the restaurant to change the order is a nuisance. I'm dreading switching to phone on in the morning to find people unable to attend. Let us hope that those of us who do make it have a great lunch.

I think a week down the line from work that I am recuperating. True the sleep has not been the best but at least I don't feel pressured. Mood is still around +1, good but not quite where I would like to be. But it is better than being depressed.

Maybe see you all tomorrow.

I Heard a Voice.

Altered Intentions.

It's the weekend again. My first week off has gone so quickly. Thank goodness for having another week to go. The dreams go on but not quite as impacting as in recent days. You may recall my intention was to go to Borough Market today with the incomparable Dory but sadly she text to say she had a migraine so couldn't make it. Having got up any way I wasn't really sure what to do. I could have gone alone or I could postpone. The latter option took precedence so I boarded the bus to St Albans.

And what a lovely day I had. The sun shone, the French market was in town and I finally managed to have lunch in Thai Rack about 15 years since my last visit. The main course was disappointingly bland but the starter was good so my plan for the night before graduation still stands.

The market was good and I came away some more of those wonderful terrines like I mentioned earlier in the week. Quail, boar and venison flavours this time. I then retired to the old pub The Boot which has stood there since before the Wars of the Roses for a refreshing ale.

Back at home I have to work out what to do next. Not feeling that hungry so perhaps a coriander and cheese omelette will suffice. Then head for The Hedgehog later but not for a while. The order is placed for Sunday. We're down to 10 but hopefully we will have fun. 46, hurtling towards 50-scary? Not really. I am what I am and can't change it.

I Heard a Voice.

Now That I can, Why Can't I?

Cryptic title? Well it's simple really, despite not having to work for some time, no rushing to do things, being able to sleep in and take life more gently I still can't escape the dreams and the anxieties that they provoke. I have no need to worry about work yet last night what did I do? Dream of work. I was up 3 times in the night. Fortunately I was eventually able to get away for a while. Had enough of dreams ruining my holiday.

After such a broken night it has been nice to have a brighter day. A squally shower just went overhead but the torrents of yesterday have not been repeated. I took a drive out to a country pub that I had noticed on my travels. Actually I saw the sign on the main road and took a hair raising trip down a narrow country track only to discover said pub was about to close. I guess I must try it at another time. So on the way back I popped in The Crooked Chimney which featured on the Morse episode called Who Killed Harry Field? Long way from Oxford. It's a lovely old pub but slightly ruined by that awful chain makeover. In fact I know 3 local pubs in that chain and all have potential to be so much nicer.

Back at home I was about to marinate my leftover beef for a vindaloo when Beka rang. Great to chat to her before her holiday. Curry is now on after a short marinade. Almost set to order Sunday's birthday feast. A couple have dropped out but apart from another couple orders are in. Need to e mail that off before heading out to meet Dory tomorrow. No doubt we will go for the belly pork roll at Roast - a bit of a staple of ours.

Probably won't be on here tomorrow but hopefully see you all on Saturday.

I Heard a Voice.

A Biblical Downpour.

God it is wet out there. It has been hurling it down almost all day. The car park at the back of my flat is like a lake, I got soaked through in town and I'm not sure I've seen rain like this since I was in Japan. It is of Biblical proportions! Miriam is going to Glyndebourne today, don't give her much chance for her picnic.

Rain aside you fine me tired but okay. The troubled sleep came back again last night. It is almost like it was when I smoked. No full ashtray now though. I haven't had a cigarette since May 2014 and despite being 2 stone heavier I do not regret giving up. Rarely been tempted and am determined to continue.

Despite the return of the bad dreams it is good to be resting. I spent too long at work really, needed some nothing time before this. But it wasn't to be. My mood is on the + side but not too up. Just nice. I'm busy sorting my birthday plans. The Waggoners have asked for orders in advance and it is always a challenge co-ordinating 11 replies in just a couple of days. Friday I plan to be at Borough Market with Dory. Maybe my holiday time is going too quickly. But the older we get the quicker it goes.

Let's hope the sun returns soon, don't want my birthday celebrated in a monsoon.

I Heard a Voice.

The Sleep of the Dead.

I think my days of bad sleep finally caught up with me last night. I ended up sleeping for 12 hours. There were dreams but not disturbances. Curiously enough in those dreams mum features a lot. No one else just the 2 of us. I was often anxious around her in life so too in my dreams. For all intents and purposes I was dead to the world though. Must have needed it.

On late waking the rain was still pouring down. Sadly the wet weather did not do enough to save the 5th Test. A curious Ashes series. And now until next year cricket is all over again. Cue the NFL in a couple of weeks.

As is my wont during the holidays after a little shopping I popped out to a country pub. The Sun in the village of Lemsford was today's venue. Lovely little village, wouldn't mind living there if money was no object. Back at home my opera adventures continue with Die Entfuhrung Aus Dem Serail. After this post it is back to Lexi's book-I'm determined to finish it this holiday.

The next question is do I have Pimm's or tea? The Pimm's season is fast running out and I have a nearly full litre bottle so needs to be used up. But on such a wet day? Maybe not.

Back soon.

I Heard a Voice.

Come On Rain!

Welcome to Sunday. The sweltering heat of the last couple of days has partially dissipated into an overcast wet day. It is raining at the Test. Can the rain stay on until 6.00 tomorrow evening forcing an abandonment to save England? Somehow I doubt it.

As it comes down steadily outside I'm listening to Mozart's Ascanio in Alba and enjoying the peace of my holiday. It is true I have had breaks since Christmas but on all of them I was rushing round doing things. Now I can finally rest. Well I could if you dreams would stop-yes I woke anxious and irritated again this morning.

That said I had a lovely lunch of rabbit and prune terrine on toast. I bought the terrine when the French market visited a while ago. The French do do terrines so well. A highlight of my Christmas holiday is making a terrine of coarse belly pork, bacon, garlic and herbs. It is very good although the intensity of the garlic-I reduce the amount-can be a little overwhelming to some. I suspect I will have to work up to Christmas Eve this year so may have do the celebration on my own at home. But I don't want to think about work now.

Rare roast beef is on the cards later. Good Rioja too. Sometimes I am so English. My plan is to enjoy cooking over the next couple of weeks. Next Sunday is my birthday so big lunch out. Might have the odd beer or two too! See you all in the week.

I Heard a Voice.