Ever Thought About Relationships? Does Like Attract Like?

Have you ever noticed that people form relationships with their own kind? Teachers marry teachers; Doctors marry Doctors; musicians attract musicians. But what of professional services users? Ever been on a date and had to stop to take medication? I have; it's not good.

The reason I bring this up today is that I ran a training session for some colleagues at the university on Thursday. We were talking about tips to maintain wellbeing. Someone said avoidance of what he called "co-dependent relationships". It was an expression born out of bitter experience. I think there was some substance in what he had suggested. That said I have no doubt that some relationships between people with mental illnesses can and do flourish. But I suspect many others fail.

Over my years roaming the strange world of mental health, I have noticed that a huge number of sufferers are single. This seems to be particularly so of men. I'm lost count of the number of young men who felt that getting a girlfriend would make their lives better. Not sure that is the case. Likewise there are many women who avoid relationships because of their experience at the hands of men.

I rather like being single; my life is so much less stressful then. I'm not looking for anything in particular but I know what I'm not looking for-forming a relationship with another service user. I spend too much time looking after my students and myself without having to come home to it every night.

So what else has been happening in my world? Lots of complex case work. Suspect I will have to work late much of next week. But it will ease off. And anyway, however complex my work can be it is almost never dull and is always rewarding.

Now back to a quiet Sunday. I indulged my passion for pork earlier-lots of delicious crackling. Was also very restrained in that I didn't open the fine bottle of rioja I have waiting. It is indeed a quiet Sunday! Now to enjoy the rest of the sunshine

I Heard a Voice.

A Quiet Sunday.

Greetings from a cold but sunny Hertfordshire. Today is a day for relaxing. Mood quite good even if I am a little tired; time to just relax.

It has been week of voices from the past. I went down to Kent last weekend and saw an old Cambirdge friend-not seen her since 1989-God that was life time away, even before my illness. Spent a very pleasant evening in the pub passing away the last 20 years. Very much hope to do it again soon.

Then on Thursday another voice from the past appeared in my life; my friend from the Cayman Islands called. She moved away from the UK in 1998 and have only really had sporadic e mail contact in the last year or too. Sadly she was in Scotland and me here but we plan to meet in town next time she is over.

So what of the rest of the week? Nothing important to tell really, just another week. Had planned to go to the food Mecca that is Borough Market yesterday but sadly tiredness and a minor hangover led to a change of plan. Did manage to put together a fine beef bourguignon and then polished off the remaining claret. Today I turn my attention to my old favourite belly pork. Talking of which I almost forgot to put it in the oven! Nice slow roast and a leisurely dinner later.

More soon.

I Heard a Voice.

Back to Cooking.

Hello from a wet and cold Hertfordshire. Maybe winter is coming back-I do hope not!

Well, another week starts. Back to full strength now and that does of course mean cooking once again. Have a rib of beef in the oven and some fine rioja-heaven. Of course normally being terribly British I would do this on a Sunday but I went for a curry with my parents yesterday so felt I had to make up for it today.

Actually I feel quite good for the beginning of the week. Lots to do but so far so good. Didn't realise that this week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. That was something that was new to me when I took up my job 3 1/2 years ago. But I've certainly learned since, particularly this year.

If you are reading this it might seem ironic that I open my post with food then go on to talk about eating disorders. As you will gather it has never been an issue to me although when I was at my worst, and that lasted many years, I had little appetite and my weight dropped. But risperidone put paid to that.

But more to point, although it is not an issue for me, I do like to note that eating disorders are serious mental health difficulties and there are many out there who battle day to day against these conditions.

So if you have an interest, have a looks at what is out there this week. There is an interesting blog on the Mind website about eating disorders in men, http://www.mind.org.uk/ .

I Heard a Voice.

PS My book is now also on sale at the Waterstones and WHSmith websites.

A Most Unexpected Day.

Hail and salutations!

So what news? I guess the biggest news is that I am back in the land of the living. Having struggled with headaches, exhaustion, and whole range of other symptoms for most of the past 3 weeks, I emerged back to life this week. Lesson learned, it is far harder to recover from concussion ages 41 than it is ages 21!

I returned to work this week full time. Some trepidation but much to my surprise my energy has returned. But it was challenging week to come back to. Last night I mused to a degree on why I have a job in the first place. And on paper, today looked rather scary.

So from 10 am until 4 pm I worked non stop. Most unexpectedly it went fantastically well! A day of surprises. I learned a long time ago that if you work in mental health, no day is ever as it seems. And today that proved right.

I drove home listening to the late great genius who was Bob Marley, mood elevated for the first time in while and looking forward to the rest of the day.

Tomorrow is all change. I'm headed to the seaside although at this time of the year that can be pretty bleak. Will see my mum and dad, catch up with friends and hopefully forget about the world. Happy days for me if not for some others in the troubled world of today.

No food news today, just heating stuff up, but I will mark my return to normality next week by going once again on my culinary adventures!

I Heard a Voice.

Knock knock, Who's There?

Blogging is a strangely fickle business. Since discovering the stats on here is has been really strange watching trends change. Audiences wax and wane for no apparent reason, and areas of the world where people are accessing this blog change very quickly. At the moment, no one seems to be out there.

I suppose I ought to speculate as to why that is. Perhaps my lack of recent blogs has led to a drop off. Maybe I have nothing interesting to say. Is my writing poor? Or is it that people just think I'm full of shit? Maybe all of those but I do know that I can't control whatever people do so I try hard not to worry about that. (that only works sometimes!).

So what has been going on in my world? Most significantly I have more or less stopped cooking in the last couple of weeks. I'm only working part time and really don't have the energy to do much else. Strange the ways of minor head injuries.

But fatigue apart, I am recovering. My mood was affected quite badly for a couple of days but on the whole it has remained relatively stable if a little lower than before.

Very much hope I can get back into this when my energy returns. In the meantime, I'm off for a curry!

Take care.

I Heard a Voice.

I'm Still Alive!

Has it really been that long since I last posted on here? Well actually it has. But I am still alive and thought it was about time for an update.

So what has been happening since then? Work has been exceedingly hectic but have had to take a step back from that. Had an accident at work last Tuesday so haven't been back since. Nothing serious or causing lasting damage but might take a while to get over it. Saw a Doctor yesterday who told me I have post concussion syndrome-so tell me somehting I don't know! Nothing can be done but time.

Much more importantly though, my book finally came out! It took almost 9 years to the day since I started writing. Have been reading all week but sadly have been somewhat disappointed, I did not do a very good job on the editing! I just hope the whole thing holds together despite the flaws.

In the unlikely event anyone wants to buy it it just went on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pillar-Impotence-Mark-Edgar/dp/1849913951/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1296915585&sr=1-2

Plan to take it very easy for the rest of the weekend. Superbowl tomorrow but certainly won't be staying up for all of it if I continue to feel like this. Might have to take out shares in the makers of paracetamol!

I Heard a Voice.

An Anniversary.

Well, it was a year ago today that I crashed. I had being running hard for weeks, life was great; as it turned out it was too great. What goes up must come down. And by God did I come down.

When I was better in about April, I reflected on a very different period of illness. There were no voices. I didn't feel suicidal. I was certainly very low. But more than anything else was a chronic feeling of emptiness.

Anniversaries always played a huge part in my years of illness-16th June; 10th August; 26th September; and of course Christmas. But those days are I hope long gone. In recent years I have only had 3 relapses none of which really lasted at its most intense any longer than 3 weeks. Now I treble my medication, take a step away from life and sleep. A year ago I slept 14 hours a day. Sleep is so precious to me; for years I had so little. Simple precaution now-get lots of sleep especially at weekends.

So what of today? A year on I am doing very well. Not as up as I was before Christmas but still on the plus side of my moodscale. I've survived my first week back at work. It's the weekend. The cover of my book is complete. My friend is coming over for a curry later and I have a Corsican style stew marinading in the fridge-supposed to be boar but couldn't get any so making do with pork. Life looks good!

And what of tomorrow? A task-check the proofs of "A Pillar of Impotence". Once that is done it all goes off to the printers. After that the culmination of 9 years project. There will be a mighty celebration when that day finally comes!

I Heard a Voice.