Well, it was a year ago today that I crashed. I had being running hard for weeks, life was great; as it turned out it was too great. What goes up must come down. And by God did I come down.
When I was better in about April, I reflected on a very different period of illness. There were no voices. I didn't feel suicidal. I was certainly very low. But more than anything else was a chronic feeling of emptiness.
Anniversaries always played a huge part in my years of illness-16th June; 10th August; 26th September; and of course Christmas. But those days are I hope long gone. In recent years I have only had 3 relapses none of which really lasted at its most intense any longer than 3 weeks. Now I treble my medication, take a step away from life and sleep. A year ago I slept 14 hours a day. Sleep is so precious to me; for years I had so little. Simple precaution now-get lots of sleep especially at weekends.
So what of today? A year on I am doing very well. Not as up as I was before Christmas but still on the plus side of my moodscale. I've survived my first week back at work. It's the weekend. The cover of my book is complete. My friend is coming over for a curry later and I have a Corsican style stew marinading in the fridge-supposed to be boar but couldn't get any so making do with pork. Life looks good!
And what of tomorrow? A task-check the proofs of "A Pillar of Impotence". Once that is done it all goes off to the printers. After that the culmination of 9 years project. There will be a mighty celebration when that day finally comes!
I Heard a Voice.
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