A Snowy Tuesday.

Well, the snow came. Not a huge amount but alarming driving home yesterday and almost lost the back end of my car near my flat. It is very hilly where I live so when the snow comes it is hard to get to the cleared main roads. They never grit down here.

You may notice that is unusual for me to blog on a Tuesday. There are 2 reasons for this. Firstly I'm usually out at the pub quiz. Secondly I'm often not in a good mood-too much self pity in the afternoon. That may sound cryptic but it is all I dare say on here.

Tonight I stayed in as my quiz friends could not make it. Actually nice to be in the warm on such a cold day. I'm watching the Food Channel and unusually for me watching Jamie Oliver. My mum fell in love with him the first time she saw his programme the Naked Chef. That was great but I have found him up and down since then. I have select books including his one on city breaks-it's very good. His trip to Andalusia is on at the moment. I love southern Spain but have not been since 2004. Even then it wasn't real Spain, Porto Banus maybe where the rich and famous hang out but have you ever tried to find real Spanish food there? If I wanted pasta I would go back to Florence.

Talking of pasta, my carbonara was almost a triumph. Just need to make one adjustment next time I do it. I will use the rest of the pecorino in Rick Stein's Easter lamb on Saturday. Perhaps I should invite a friend.

My mood is okay but nowhere near where I like it to be. But okay is better than low so I can live with that. For now, I'm off. See you all next time.

I Heard a Voice.

A Double Century.

Welcome to the 200th post of the Voices Did My Head In blog. Can't believe I have written so much since I started. I guess some people must enjoy my writing as the viewing figures are quite buoyant at the moment. It is bitterly cold out with grey skies. No sign yet of the expected snow. No doubt we will grind to a standstill when it arrives, we in England always do. Given the steep hill that I have to climb outside my flat to get to town or work I may be stuck for a while if it comes down heavily.

Well I have survived week 1 back at work. It was a mixed week but okay. The highlight was going to Cambridge on Tuesday. Theoretically that is always a joy but this time I was only looking forward to part of it. I was there for a meeting which last year had been hosted at our place. I hated that day. But this day was both interesting and more fun. Although I was somewhat cryptic on here about it I had an interview for a new job last November. Not good practice to not even bother to contact failed interviewees; yes, that is right, I never heard a word from them. But on Tuesday I met one of the women who had been involved on the day and was somewhat surprised what she had to say. She was in on 2 of the 4 tasks I was asked to undertake. According to her I was by far the best candidate. Sadly she had no input on the decision. So instead of hiring the best candidate they went for an internal political appointment. I have been there before though. So the search goes on.

I'm now at home trying to warm up and listening to Mendelssohn's Elias. It is not a work I knew but am impressed so far. I'm keeping the cooking simple this weekend. Spaghetti carbonara tonight, bought some pecorino cheese for that, and roasted chicken thighs tomorrow. Might do them in goose fat.

Other than that it is NFL divisional playoff round so lots of football to watch. As it is scheduled late I will probably only see one match live then record the other 3. Then it is just relax.

Have a great weekend.

I Heard a Voice.

PS Many thanks to the great Jayne Curry for the excellent company in Sala Thong in Cambridge-the crispy belly pork with chill, basil, and oyster sauce was spectactular

And By Way of a Change.

Today is on the face of it another Sunday. Different to others? It is still dull out. I have to return to work tomorrow. I ate roast pork. Spot any differences there to the countless other posts I have made of quiet Sundays? The more observant of you will notice a difference; there is no mention of Mozart.

I fancied a change so am diving into the box set of Haydn that was one of the many presents I came galumphing back to Hertfordshire with after Christmas. And very good it is too. I need to relax, I'm certain chaos will return to my life after I have been to the dentist tomorrow morning. I don't like the dentist but it has to be done.

But the food theme continues apace on this day of rest. My friend Jazz is coming to dinner tomorrow so I have to get going on a curry paste. That is always good fun; if you don't have one invest in a mortar and pestle. Better exercise than the gym. Must go now as I forgot to buy garlic. More soon.

I Heard a Voice.

PS I broke through the 6000 hits barrier last night.

The End is Nigh!

Greetings and welcome to 2013. I hope you all had a Happy New Year? It is a quiet Saturday afternoon in gloomy but comparatively warm Hertfordshire. I have been shopping, did the recycling, did the bins, and have yet to tidy up. On the hob the stock pot bubbles quietly as I make what I hope will be an excellent chicken stock. All is quiet.

A quiet end to my long holiday-the end if nigh. On  Monday I return to the madness of my working life. This 3 weeks has gone quickly-it always does. Yet as I stand on the cusp of another term I am no more motivated or manic than I was back in September-I go back to no change. Let's hope 2103 is more kind to me than 2012 was.

As I planned I have cooked a lot. I got away to Kent, to St Albans and yesterday to Hitchin to see the incomparable Dory. That was a good day. So as time ticks away I will try to make the most of it. Tonight I will stir fry some beef with a fiery sauce. Tomorrow I will finish my extremely fiery Cambodian noodles I had earlier in the week then slow cook shoulder of pork. And on Monday my friend Jazz is coming for a Thai bell pork curry. So my kitchen is in order even if my life is not.

On Tuesday I travel to Cambridge for a very tedious meeting but the main reason for going is to meet my old friend Jayne for dinner; I really should get to Cambridge more often.

So until the next time, goodbye.

I Heard a Voice.

Reflections on the Post Storm Clear-up.

Well this is the 106th and final post of 2012. If you have followed through this year you will have noticed the storm I have been riding for almost 12 months. So what did 2012 bring me? In many ways a lot of misery.

I have been through the deaths of 7 people known to me including my mum. Is that too many for a 43 year old to deal with? Well my world is one of sudden death but it has been a tremendously difficult time for me. But I'm still here.

I had my relapse, the 2nd since moving to Hertfordshire in 2007. Is that bad sign? Maybe. It is sometimes easy to forget that I have a mental illness as most of the time I'm fine. On Friday I will see my Doctor for the first time since my relapse. He will continue along in his deluded way that I have 3 conditions that I don't have but that is what is on his screen so it must be true. This despite the fact that at least 1 of those labels was a differential diagnosis by a Doctor who wasn't even qualified. Why do Doctors choose to deceive us?

This last year seems like a time of deceit and lies. But who are we lying to? Do I lie to myself? Am I still deluded? My books say one thing but those with power say otherwise.

As I enter 2013 I am stuck and unhappy. Not yet mentally ill but vulnerable to that much feared return to my madness. I cannot predict my future any more than I can change my past. Only time will tell where the next part of my story goes.

Yet it wasn't all bad. I have written another book during some of the most difficult times of my life. And of course there was the award that wasn't. I didn't win but being short-listed proves that at least some of the students value what I do. As a noted a few weeks ago I now trying to judge a day by whether I did some good; I hope I did more good than bad in 2012.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year and a healthy and prosperous 2013. See you then.

I Heard a Voice.

A Journey,

There is an old proverb attributed to the Chinese philosopher Laozi which states that "a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step". In reality we go on many long intertwined journeys in our life times so who knows which is the first step. After my last post on Mozart I chose this quiet cold Sunday to begin my journey into Mozart. On the recommendation of my barrister friend Mark I started with the Bassoon Concerto-an excellent first step in this journey. I followed it with La Clemenza di Tito which was new to me. Perhaps there will be more tomorrow.

Mozart and Sunday lunch are a bit of theme for me, today it was chicken. Sadly another theme in my life is nightmares and I had several of those last night. Actually I slept badly before them, my mind was aflame as I went to bed-maybe that is a return of the mixed state my friend Brain talks of. I pray that sleep returns soon otherwise my holiday will be lost. Only a week to go now. I look forward to meeting Dory on Friday.

Will I achieve anything in that week? Only time will tell. Who knows I might even sell some books-as promised the Kindle link for Charon's Ferry is below:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Charons-Ferry-ebook/dp/B00AR2V0GO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1356886913&sr=1-1

But for now I will focus on week 17 of the NFL season; I do wish they wouldn't  keep showing the same teams over and over again though.

Time to go now.

I Heard a Voice.

20 Years of Mozart.

Greetings from Hertfordshire. Yes I came galumphing back through surprising good weather laden with presents after what became a great Christmas. We eventually finished our Christmas dinner at about 8.30 having started at 3.15. And as I noted on the day it was a triumph. Boxing Day involved a lot of drinking, curry with my dad then more drinking.

So what of the next few days? Well I have nothing much on the cards other than more cooking-there is a wonderful smell of ham and cloves-catching up on recorded NFL games and listening to music. I came home with the complete works of Mozart courtesy of dad hitting the jackpot in a second hand shop before the holiday. It covers 170 CDs and I doubt I will ever get through it all. But that is not all, I also have the complete works of Haydn and 40 Mendelssohn CDs. So there is lot to do.

Hopefully I will do some blogging in the next few days as well as recuperating from a long term. It is nice to be away from the chaos. See you all soon.

I Heard a Voice.