The Leaves, the Blackberries and the Chill.

An all together fresher outlook has descended on the land. A few leaves have already fallen. The blackberries are ripening. The chill. And the night drawing in. Autumn that beautiful season is almost upon us. The strange world we inhabit mid pandemic has seen a lightning summer, a lot rain and a nation still reeling from the extraordinary events of the last six months. Can summer almost be over already? Yes indeed. On Sunday we once again celebrate my birthday. On Wednesday it will mark 13 years since I moved here. Thursday 13 years in my job. I would never have imagined this outcome all those years ago.

Once again I find myself at a crossroads with direction signs torn down. Is there a storm coming the likes of which I have not seen since my breakdown in 1991? Or am I just being too anxious and paranoid? That I'm unsettled is clear. That I need change is also clear. But how and why? And will I be in control of events? A decision that I needed to make by midnight has been made. It will advance me no further and the recriminations may be deeply unpleasant. But the parameters of my life are not being kind to me at the moment. That they have been artificially set against me became clear last week. My response may lead to trouble but needed to be sent.

For now though I focus on my holiday. Had a great time in Kent with dad. Today I did a little shopping and remained steadfast in resistance to the desire to buy yet another coat and two more pairs of boots. Maybe after pay day on Friday.

Tonight's opera is Cosi fan Tutti and I'm having a beer. Been reading Rick Stein's Secret France book as I listen. Tomorrow I hope to go to Cambridge but that depends on when I wake up. As ever I slept poorly at dad's so am quite tired.

Not sure when I will return on here, maybe next week. Enjoy the rest of summer and let us hope as we move into autumn the world becomes a little better for all of us.

I Heard a Voice.