After feeling somewhat more upbeat in a flat sort of a way yesterday I woke back down to earth. I felt very low, the world seemed pointless and it took all my emotional strength merely to get out of bed. By that stage it was nearly lunch time.
Motivation is at zero but I have things to do so will have to force myself. What I really want to do is hide away from everyone and everything and switch the world off for a while. That's not an option though.
Why this should come on me now I do not know. At around this time last week we had nearly completed the move to the new flat. Certainly there is more order in my life now. But I feel stymied by the grim, off white landscape that is outside. It would be nice to get out but where? It looks somewhat warmer so I'm hoping the thaw is under way. Do I risk going out in the cold or escape the world of prying eyes and ears and write today off?
Worries of what is to come are slowly whispering to me. I feel I must go back soon but am I up to it? I bumped into a colleague yesterday. It was lovely to see her and her usual smile and upbeat nature was very evident. A keen advocate of yoga and meditation she seems to handle the demands of the work far better than me.
I need to do some cleaning this afternoon. And a little more unpacking. My CDs and DVDs are still elsewhere although I think I will wait for the thaw before doing that. I could put on an opera. A spot of culture might enlighten the gloom. The football match I have on at the moment is the best of a bad lot on my hundreds of channels. I have no interest in it at all.
If I can find some motivation from somewhere I will try to get back in the kitchen tonight. Have the rest of my prawns to use up. No idea what to do with them though.
On that note I will sign off. Sorry to be so negative today, it is just one of those days I would rather forget.
I Heard a Voice.
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