Obscuring the Sun and the Moon.

The great merging of two bitterly cold weather fronts from the east and the southwest has brought chaos to my little insignificant island on the northwestern edges of Europe. The southwest and Wales and Ireland took the brunt of the latter front in snow storms not seen for many a year.

My little town has now succumbed to the fury of the conflagration of cold and it all looks pretty bleak and treacherous out there. I'm ensconced indoors in the warm. We haven't seen the sun today and sadly the full moon tonight will be completely obscured.

For my part I have done a few things today and managed to stay out of the worst of it. I woke too early in fear and anticipation of my psychiatrist appointment this morning. So wary am I my anxiety was telling me it would be not even that but some other practitioner who would merely send me in the direction of the Wellbeing Team and I would have not progressed much.

When it came down to it though it was an old friend. Ako as I call him has known me since the very early days. I taught him on the MSc in Psychiatric Practice and have regularly conversed with him about students. So pleasing to see someone who not only knows me but believes me and has read the book.

We talked as one practitioner to another, respecting our knowledge and working together to find a way forward. I was able to communicate just how crippling my anxiety has been in recent years, the fear of losing Risperidone and of the many myriad of problems that impact on my life, each manageable in themselves but combining to a devastating meltdown of a once confident ex psychiatric patient. Now I suppose I am that again.

A referral is being made to the lead psychologist to try that route first. We have a back up medication plan driven partly by his belief that at some stage Trimipramine will be taken off the market. Coming away I felt listened to, respected and relieved.

Is it a backward step? Or is it something I should have done a long time ago? What I do know is that pulling strings probably helped, they acknowledged I have some expertise and ultimately want to help me. And with that I'm pleased.

So at the end of a cold, stormy and snowy week I have made it to Friday evening. I think I have the motivation to cook if not eat much. To Spain I go, prawns with garlic, chilli and sherry, a warm potato salad dressed with spring onions, olive oil and sherry vinegar and a simple healthy salad of tomatoes, roasted red peppers and cucumber. Sadly I don't have any Albarino to go with it.

As I have said before, take care in this cold and ice and remember that whilst it may be obscured the mighty full moon will rules over us tonight.

I Heard a Voice.