Work Away From Work.

As regular readers of this blog will have noticed I am passionate about what I do and also cooking. Sometimes working in mental health it becomes very hard to switch off at the end of the day. But that is where the cooking comes in. It is my de-stressor.

Many who I talk to are utterly fascinated by my working life but also think it is very dangerous. It is not really as I explain to most people that they are greater risk in a pub than they ever would be in my world. Where it gets tricky though is when I talk to people, they find out what I do and want me to sort their heads out. At times I feel I should run a clinic once a week in the pub although I suspect few could afford the rates I should charge.

A couple of months ago after a very long, intense and tiring I encountered just one of those scenarios. That was the last thing I needed on that particular night. But it happened anyway. A man I had never met before who by his own admission had had had a dubious past was almost in tears as he told me he had lost his business, his family, and his home. He told me his Doctor had advised him to take an anti depressant but men didn't do things like that. In my weariness I gave him my thoughts and left it up to him.

A couple of weeks later he had once again been in the pub and he told me he had started taking pills but they were not working. Once again I gave him thoughts and left it to him. With that I forgot all about it.

But last Thursday the past came back. Once again the man was in the pub. He asked if he could speak to me outside. When we got there he was overwhelming in his gratitude to me. He had taken my advice and was now doing really well. We talked about how the pills worked and that they would not take his past away from him but if they helped which they clearly were to do it.

When we finished talking and prepared to go back inside out of the cold he offered his hand. Then he said "no, that's not enough, I should hug you".

It is days like that that I feel I have achieved something. For me those days are fairly frequent but it is a greater pleasure to help a stranger who I knew was at risk of being let down just as I had been all those years ago.

Back in reality I have now completed the Kent sections of "Charon's Ferry". Great sense of achievement there too. Now for a quiet Saturday of Thai belly pork curry courtesy of Gordon Ramsey then the start of the NFL playoffs tonight. A good way to end my long holiday.

I Heard a Voice.

Retracing My Steps.

A decade ago my life was very different to the one I lead now. My destiny appeared and planned to be a teacher. Yet now in the second decade of the 21st century I only rarely teach and spend most of my life sorting other people's heads out. That search for a job back then eventually proved futile although I have met many since who I have been able to help who are very glad I did not become a teacher.

But that search did take me to some interesting places. And one of those places was St Albans. Yesterday I found myself in the very same pub I had stayed in way back then. It was warm and welcoming with a roaring fire and a friendly landlady. I asked if they still rent out rooms and recounted my previous stay. Her response was to say that some feel we should never retrace our steps. But I rather enjoyed my trip down memory lane. Fate took another route back to Hertfordshire and the Doom Bar ale was particularly good.

So here I am with my first post of 2012. I'm coming to the end of my long holiday. Back to work on Monday. Yes I have been cooking, eating, and drinking for Europe whilst I have been off. But I have also made great progress on the book. I have managed to write about 12,000 since my holiday started. One more chapter to do and then that part is complete.

This book has in the main been smooth sailing. But I guess the content is easier when describing being well. Long may my wellness continue.

I hope that also applies to my readers-good luck for the New Year. I wonder where we'll all be at this time in 2013?

I Heard a Voice.

Goodbye 2011.

And so the final day of the year. I shall for ever remember 2011 for the final part of a journey that started in 2002. The release of "A Pillar of Impotence" almost exactly 9 years after I started writing it will always stay on my mind. No I haven't sold 1000s of copies nor made any money but then again I never expected to. But it is the comments of those few who have read it that I will always cherish.

As the last day of the year runs out I'm focusing on the sequel which I have decided to call "Charon's Ferry". Over half way now having written another 4 chapters since I started my holiday. Hoping to get another 3 chapters done before I go back on the 9th.

I have needed the break and have focussed on sleeping, writing and cooking. The goose was a huge triumph. I managed to rescue last night's lamb following a disastrous start. Tomorrow I will be doing chicken casserole in cider. Happy days.

I'm trying to avoid mental health whilst I'm off although a couple of days my mood has been a bit flat. Who knows what 2012 will bring me?

Happy New Year to all of you out there and hope you come back to read more in 2012.

I Heard a Voice.

Nearly Christmas.

Just a quick post today. I've done all my shopping and preparations and much to my relief the half goose actually fits in the oven! The even greater news is that thanks to a small Christmas bonus voucher from the university it cost me almost nothing.

Hope all those who have read my blog have a wonderful Christmas and if I don't get on here before then, Happy New Year!

I Heard a Voice

A Week of Writing.

Greetings from a surprisingly mild Hertfordshire,

All is good in my world. I'm catching up on precious sleep, cooking fine food, listening to excellent music and writing the new book. I have made some really good progress having completed 3 more chapters this week. Very pleased with how it is going and I'm over half way.

But I have not just been doing that. The preparations for Christmas continue. Following an epic shopping trip spending my Christmas bonus on Monday I am almost there. Tomorrow there is the unenviable task of trying to find a parking space to collect my goose. Might even walk down and get a cab back. Also need a ham and have found the excellent Campo Viejo Reserva rioja on offer some must get some of that too.

So what the mad world? Yes I'm away from work but I can rarely get away from madness. On Monday I went to secure unit a few miles from here to talk about recovery and my book. Seemed to go quite well with just a small group to talk to. Let us hope my story helps those who are locked up in some way to move towards managing their madness better. I did it for free but am quite happy to do that if it helps in any way.

Tomorrow the chaos begins then it is back home for a weekend of feasting and cooking-really hope the goose comes out okay!

I Heard a Voice.

A Holiday Triumph.

Well it has finally arrived-I'm on holiday! It is very rare that I run out of steam at work but I did this time and felt I was running on fumes for the last few weeks. But of course I wasn't bored. I have more than 70 people on my books already-a care co-ordinator in a CMHT likely will have 25-30-some of whom are really quite complex. Last year was very tough and full of risk. This year it has been just as complex but less risky-might mean less of my hair falls out this year!

So to the holiday. For the first time ever I have decided to stay at home and do it myself. And I have 3 weeks which I will dedicate to cooking, drinking, and writing. Am about half way through the new book and hoping to make some really good progress over the next 3 weeks. It is coming on well but I have lurking doubts that I can never match the intensity of the first book. But I will keep going.

And the cooking? Well I did a very nice beef rendang yesterday. But little I have ever cooked can surpass the rare roast beef I did for lunch today. It was quite simply sublime! Add to that "Cosi fan Tutti", good rioja and my newly bought bottle of port it has been a fine Sunday indeed.

Continuing the decadent theme I have gone the extra mile this year and ordered half a goose for Christmas. I've never cooked it before and am concerned if I can get it in the oven but am really looking forward to that one. I've invited a couple of friends if they are free but if not I will spend my day alone feasting and drinking to the sound of the Puccini opera my parents bought me. Could there be anything better than that?

I Heard a Voice.

A Stand In.

Greetings from a rather chilly Hertfordshire.

It has been a most interesting week. As I mentioned in my last post my friend Beka came to visit last weekend. Her and Mike took me out for a delicious Sunday lunch at the Waggoners at Ayot Green.

It's not often that I am stunned by news but this was one such occasion. Beka and Mike are planning to get married next year. What I really didn't expect was that she would ask me to give her away! What an amazing offer. Of course I said yes but it was only later that the enormity of it dawned on me.

Beka's dad who very sadly died a few years ago was the pianist Ronald Smith. Hailed as a genius for his ability to play the fiendishly difficult works of Alkan he was an astonishing larger than life character. So how on earth could I possibly stand in? I am good at speeches, am quite happy to wear a morning suit if required but will definitely stop short of dancing-I simply don't do that!

It is a great honour and privilege to stand in for such a distinguished figure and has been on my mind all week. So it has been a good week.

And what of today? A quiet day. Got my hair cut then accidentally bought a couple of things in a sale-that certainly wasn't planned. I'm now cooking some Greek lamb steaks marinaded in dill, olive oil, garlic and lemon-smells good. And tomorrow that old favourite, roast shoulder of pork!

Only two weeks to go then I'm on holiday. It has been a long term so I could do with the rest.

More soon.

I Heard a Voice.