Thunder Clouds and Sultry Air.

Dark and threatening clouds fill the sky. The air is warm and sultry. And it is very still. After an unpromising and rather cold morning in my flat listening to Maria Callas I decided to go for my walk with Sarah this after afternoon despite the threat of a downpour, thunder and lightning. And what a beautiful walk it was. Suggesting a walk in the woods I assumed we'd be heading for the semi closed Waggoners. But she took me on a route I didn't even know was there. What fun that was.

Unscathed we returned to our Sunday lives. For me it is Offenbach, a glass of Chilean red and the wondrous smell of belly pork slow roasting seasoned with salt, pepper, rosemary and thyme. With a myriad of vegetables in my fridge I have some decisions to make. Do I roast the somewhat elderly fennel root? Broccoli, carrots and beans? Savoy cabbage, carrots and asparagus? Or do I go with peas as a substitute? With nothing else to spend my money on I'm spoilt for choice.

Whatever goes on with it though it feels a better Sunday than the previous bank holiday a couple of weeks ago when nearly two months of isolation really got to me. There has been good and bad since then but today I'm good.

The views of my short mental health films keep building up. I doubt I can wish for more but it is important what was said. Mental illness has no friends or enemies. It can strike anyone. As a reviewer of Charon's Ferry a few years ago so astutely pointed out we are all one job loss, one bereavement, one financial problem away from going from us to them. Yes nearly 30 years on the mental health world has changed. But there is still a propensity for the providers of services such as mine to pressure us to choose their side rather than ours. My great skill is I speak the language of the mentally ill. My experience is my qualification. And yes one does get extra points if one has been a patient on a psychiatric ward. Extra too for being detained under the Mental Health Act. With luck I will never rise to the top on those grounds.

A sincere hope of mine is that we do not forget after all the chaos of pandemic has calmed. Who knows what the world will look like? But I know many who might otherwise have never known my world have been touch by it in recent weeks. Feeling this does not necessarily make people mentally ill if indeed that is useful term but it does make us feel. Maybe that is why counsellors seem to hold such sway? But I would say that you are not the only ones to know of feelings and how to manage them. Sometimes it feels like I should run a clinic in The Hedgehog. But also I must do more to protect myself and not take on all and sundry because some people seem to think I know something about life.

I will enjoy my lie in tomorrow. And to all my Muslim friends have a very happy Eid.

I Heard a Voice.