The Beckoning of Nature.

Over the last few days I've noticed a lot of things beyond the four walls of my small flat here in Hertfordshire. In my life time I have seen, witnessed and heard many things. How many British kids had seen Australia twice by the age of 13? Have met the future heirs to both the British Royal throne and the Japanese Imperial throne by 13? To have sung in Sydney Opera House, many of the great cathedrals of Europe and many of the other concert halls at that age? To be taught by the great and the good at Cambridge University by 21? And to have seen the inside of an old asylum locked in with no hope of escape a mere few months later?

Despite that I never really took much notice of nature. Partly because that was my mum's thing and I rejected all she espoused in the dark clash of my life with her and mental illness but also because I was so wrapped up in other things that I was too lazy to look.

When my devastating relapse occurred in January 2018 I first started to notice. With nothing to do my friends Gary and Ali took me through the woods week by week in that five month lay off. I saw the seasons change, heard the birds sing and witnessed the great power beyond my comprehension that is mother nature.

Now locked down like much of the rest of the planet I can't go out much. But when I do I notice. And as glorious reminder that nature is greater than us yesterday I saw a bird of prey serenely gliding through the sky just over the road through my open balcony doors. Given its red markings and knowing they are nearby I think it was a red kite. It was glorious.

Venturing out later on my walk I was overcome by the song of the birds, the sounds of the woodpecker and the emotional feeling that for all we do to nature it will overcome our arrogance.

Back in the day time life it has been a busy day. And a better day. For a little over a week I was back in what causes my anxiety, powerlessness and the political wrangling of my working life. It was like going back in time. My sincere wish is that when we are back on campus, the students are away from fear and we can go out at will we will learn our lessons. I did get a lot done today and I think I did some good.

As it is Wednesday opera night ensued. Double opera in fact. The Magic Flute and Dido and Aeneas. I ate pasta and ragu, had a glass of Rioja and enjoyed the late spring sunshine.

Unable to sit still though I finally managed to reach out to a vulnerable friend who is really struggling. Like me she is a musician and she battles mental illness. Unlike me she has no support or understanding. She is alone. I hope after tonight she feels a little less alone.

Tomorrow I have courgette and feta fritters lined up for lunch. Prepared this evening I need to go and tidy up after this. There will be work of course but also classical music, culture of a culinary kind and another day to get through closer to when this will be over. I hope you all thrive tomorrow. I will try to.

I Heard a Voice