Like a Thief in the Night

What a beautiful autumn day. The sun is shining, there is a little wispy cloud, barely a breath of wind and all is calm in my world. Does that sounds strange given what has happened in the last few months? I am delighted to report that I have gone an entire week without anxiety. The calm I once knew and was respected for has returned. It was not just the last few months but in all probability the last three years that my life has been out of control.

That summer of 2015 when expectation changed took my calm and peacefulness away like a thief in the night. Night time because anxiety has brought back my darkness. On Wednesday with the talking guy we talked about the richness of my life. It is indeed rich in experience dark though some of it has been. But it occurred to me that what made me so good at what I do has come back. That calming communication with my people in a way that few without lived experience can have.

In the past when all is chaos in the world and I have had to get young people detained under the Mental Health Act it was always noted how calm I was. And that calm has vanished in recent years.

Now as I face the start of another term tomorrow I'm not fretting, dreading and fearing what will be. I do not know what will be but I do not fear it. How long that lasts I do not know. But I will savour it whilst I can. And go back to what I once did so well. There is a little nagging doubt at the back on my mind that said mind will go into overdrive and I will alienate people. That always used to happen at the start of the academic year. Let us pray and hope for the peace and stability to stay.

Back in my flat I have been entertaining. Alyssa came round for rare roast rib of beer. It was sublime. It hard to beat a sunny day with Handel and Offenbach, rare beef, roast potatoes in beef dripping, vegetables, horseradish, French cheese and biscuits all washed down with Chianti and fine company.

I have enjoyed the last week or so. And in the darkness of that black winter I never thought joy would ever come back to my life. But it has. I hope you too enjoy your Sunday.

I Heard a Voice.