Benefits, Anger, and Suicide.

Well I've been back three days now and already tired. For years I was plagued with insomnia. To a large extent that is now sorted by one of my two medications. But I'm sometimes badly affected by nightmares; the last few weeks has been one of those times. So I woke up at 6.30 am today and could not get back to sleep; too much on my mind. So I actually went into work early today-that's quite unusual.

So find myself at home, tired, listening to the Jam, and digesting some fine Malaysian prawns I cooked earlier and contemplating the day. And a small part of today was taken up by looking at various MH blogs.

There is one theme that keeps dominating at the moment-benefit changes. I talked briefly in previous postings of my battles for benefits when I needed them and the fact that despite the fact I have what is probably a life long disability I am entitled to nothing as I'm too well.

When I was on them it seemed as if the various guises of what is now the Department of Work and Pensions was fighting a personal crusade against. I felt judged, attacked, threatened and lied about. On more than one occasion I was driven to the brink of suicide. Fortunately I'm not in that place now.

But many people out there are in that terrible place right now. I was particularly saddened to see a heart rending post from someone who seems to have had MH difficulties for years and endured homelessness setting out precisely what will happen to her if her next assessment goes badly; she will kill herself.

I talk towards the end of my book about the dangers that the DWP poses to the lives of the vulnerable. The Department of Health set targets to reduce suicides (and if we believe official figures which I don't there has been some improvement in the last 10 years) and the DWP sets out to reduce the benefit bill. The two are not compatible! The suicide figures will inevitably rise.

Over the years I have become acutely aware how few people really know anything about mental illness. Many of the public don't care, GPs have many specialisms but few are experts on mental health, and many MH professionals are not very good.

So who conducts these assessments for the DWP? People who on the whole know fuck all! They can't even agree what the best way to assess mental health is.

I fear for the lives both figuratively and literally for all those who are at the mercy of such tests.

I Heard a Voice.

PS I now have the proofs of the book; just need to check them then they finally go to the printers. We're getting there!