Greetings to an unseen audience. So few people are reading at the moment but then again I am not posting much.
After a difficult few months the Equinox has brought spring. Are things getting any better for me? Not really but they've not got worse. My day of fate has been and gone and I'm still standing.
Years ago when Risperidone changed my life it felt that getting a job would be the final piece of the puzzle. In fact it made life more complicated.
I am controversial, outspoken, too honest but have the credibility to back it up. That doesn't always go down well with my superiors. I wouldn't want to manage me. Try as I might work to live I still really struggle to let go. I'm too invested in the world of mental health.
Recently I completed re reading my two memoirs, A Pillar of Impotence and Charon's Ferry. They were far more emotive than when I last read them. My emotion is quite raw at the moment.
They may get more so. Back in 2014 I wrote a post entitled Pandora's Box. In it I surmised that one day King's College Choir would be added to the last music schools where safeguarding did not exist. I became aware last week that the link has been made in public.
The edifice is crumbling. When will it come crashing down? And what does that mean for me? For those who lived through it in the 1970s and 1980s? We all bare our scars and as one friend said in December "each year I heal a little more of the trauma". Some refuse to ever talk about the choir.
Survivors. But it is hard.
Today has been spent alone. I've been food shopping. Tonight there will be steamed snapper marinated in charmoula. Tomorrow roast rack of lamb. The cooking goes on.
I Heard a Voice.
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