Driving Home From Christmas.

Greetings one and all! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas? We did. Miriam and I triumphed in the kitchen, no one spilt or dropped anything, we had lovely presents and generally had a good time. 

My drive home yesterday was not good at all. Rain, spray and tail backs meant it was long and tiring so relieved to get home in just under three hours. 

Today the rain continues. I did venture forth to the Waterstones sale and bought two lovely cookbooks. Half price on all hardbacks was a nice surprise. 

Good though I feel the anxious dreams keep coming. I don't have to work until Thursday but the fear continues. 

That aside things are going well. Tomorrow I hope to meet my friends Peter and Kym. Not seen them since last summer. 

It would be nice to go to a country pub but don't fancy going out again in the rain. So just some reading I think.

I Heard a Voice. 

Leaden Skies, Calm Sea and Chorizo Stew.

Welcome to Christmas 2021. What has happened in the last two years? To be honest the world we knew has been blown away by fate, circumstance, God or whatever we individually choose to believe. 

At the start of this pandemic I posted about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that had not yet arrived. I'm still waiting. 

On the cusp of Christmas my world has changed beyond recognition. Jabbed thrice over, masked in public and obsessional cleaning the world we once knew has gone. As has my old toxic job.

I am so relieved to have escaped what had become a moribund, thankless and angry life to something new.

Some of the past remains though. After a hiatus of one Christmas once again I'm in Kent with dad, Miriam and Nigel. Everyone is ready. I walked along the beach this afternoon under leaden skies. I did the hated wrapping. And now I'm cooking chorizo and chickpea stew. 

Tomorrow will be awesome. Maybe I'll post then. But if I don't may I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy New year. 

Take care.

I Heard a Voice. 

Little Light With Darkness Coming.

 Beautiful pale winter sunlight briefly illuminated my little world in the week. No sign of the sun since and today we are cloaked in cold and fog. There is a sense of coming darkness. 

The pandemic has once again fought back. Each time we get to grips with it it twists out of our grasp. I'm certain we will be locked down again. The question is when?

As things stand I'm in the office Monday and Tuesday, working from home on Wednesday then travelling to Kent on Thursday. Will it happen? I don't know. 

My self doubt was very much to the fore this morning when I woke up. For every step forward I take in my new venture another doubt pops up. But it has only been five weeks. My colleague in another team started five weeks before me told me she was all at sea at that point. If I'm honest me too.

I can do nothing of the morrow this afternoon as I sit in the warm listening to Figaro. 

Ahead lies roast partridge, a glass of Rioja and the NFL. Tomorrow will come and it will be fine.

I Heard a Voice. 

Changing Sunday, a Reflection

 On a grey but mild Sunday afternoon I'm listening to Mozart opera and keeping a low profile. True I went to the shop and to do the recycling but I don't really want to see anyone today. It was a difficult and anxious start as indeed it was yesterday. My thoughts pervade around work and how I will find myself wanting yet again tomorrow. It will dawn and I will get through it. 

What was blindingly obvious at several points this weekend I am much happier despite my fear.

Last night I took a journey through blog posts over the last two years. It reinforced how utterly miserable I had been in my old job. I felt I'd never get out and that was it.

Now as we approach Christmas the cherished and longed for change has happened! It is beyond my dreams. Now I've got to allow myself time to settle, time to be kind to myself and to believe. 

My confidence will return. Maybe too my mania, that would be awesome. But for now I will focus on today. 

Until next time. 

I Heard a Voice.