Today I do not feel well. Actually things have not been right since the holidays. Recurrent stomach problems that I thought I had beaten returned today. Add in a sore throat and shakiness it seemed only sensible not to work today.
As so often happens when not well the shadowy dark dreams returned and all my fears and anxieties haunted me as I lay half asleep and shivering in bed this morning.
Funnily enough I had long chat with my friend Nikki last night which started with her relaying a dream she had of the two of us. It always disturbs me when people say they dream of me. I simply don't think I am important enough. We talked a lot about mental illness. Long diagnosed as having bipolar the illness has cost her a great deal. I think we both know that had we not met a darker outcome might have ensued. But we're both still standing even if I'm a little lame at the moment.
I always feel drained when illness strikes and the dreams come back. I did force myself to eat lunch but I can't be bothered to make batter for pancake today. Tomorrow will be Ash Wednesday and I will listen to our 1983 recording of Allegri's Miserere.
Hopefully I will feel better then. Have too much to do to be laid up at home. For the rest of today though I doubt I'll venture far from the sofa and just try to work my way through things.
I Heard a Voice.
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