It wasn't until later this week when I thought about it I realised just how low I was on Tuesday. One of the odd things about my life is that in my work I'm at my best when the proverbial bullets are flying and chaos is all around yet on simple daily tasks I fall apart. The crippling anxiety of uncertainty paralysed me that day.
Now a few days later I'm on a more even keel, the big fear is sorted and I'm okay for having cancelled things. In the end it was Sarah rather than me who cancelled Borough Market on Wednesday. The relief coupled with my car being fixed made the terror melt away.
I've not been completely idle. I had a lovely walk through the woods to The Waggoners on Thursday with Gary. Then yesterday I drove to Sandridge for lunch with my friends Kym and Peter at The Rose and Crown. They're rather special in that both are wise and both get my world. I'm not always a lover of therapists but they are wise and share rather than the self righteousness of many I have met who make it all about themselves playing a game of their own making, own refereeing and own rules. Sadly they are very bad at explaining those rules. The other Peter who I consult every three weeks is like them. Human.
Of course this week flew by. It always does when we're away from work. I do not know what I will face come Monday morning but on this Saturday evening as I listen to Handel's Saul I don't really care. That it has been an expensive week was to be expected given that I needed my car fixed and I had a sight and contact lens test today. But I think I'm okay.
Tomorrow brings my friend Jo to join me for slow roast shoulder of pork, some opera and lots of laughs. Jo is big hearted, has a big voice and a big and somewhat dirty laugh. I like her company. She will try roasted fennel for the first time tomorrow. I like to educate as well as entertain.
I will return now to Handel. Take care out there and enjoy the weekend. See you all soon.
I Heard a Voice.
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