Rain and Bad Light Stopped Play.

To use the parlance of cricket rain and bad light have stopped play today. Not too many outdoor adventures today although might try and sneak in a quick walk at some point.

Sat in my gloomy flat with the lights on mid afternoon, nevertheless I'm listening to opera, supping Chianti and digesting my lunch. Rare roast beef, roast potatoes, carrots, Savoy cabbage, broccoli and freshly grated horseradish cream. I triumphed today although I couldn't be bothered to make Yorkshire puddings.

Don Giovanni and Arminio are today's chosen operas. I think I listen to Mozart and Handel more than anything else. My consumption of popular music has gone down considerably during lockdown as I'm not driving much. However I did listen to David Bowie's Hunky Dory on my travels yesterday. With the Farm Shop at Smallford finally reopened I ventured down yesterday morning. Saw my young friend who works there. I don't know her name but I always have a chat with her. Home via the Chinese and Indian shops in Hatfield so the fridge is groaning. Foolishly bought mushroom dark soy by mistake. No doubt someone will take it off my hands but means I'll have to do another trip next weekend.

If all goes to plan many more shops will open Monday week. Whether the feared second wave comes I do not know. Are we closer to working out what the world will look like? Or still floundering and confused?

For my part I'm still enjoying working from home and hope to do some of that still when we finally get back to campus. The weeks are unusually busy for June. The nice things is that students are getting their results now and we get to see the many triumphs. Given my own history of mental illness I have some idea quite how much many of my students have to overcome to get to that victorious moment. That moment when walking down the knave of St Alban's Abbey they can say fuck you to mental illness, today I won! That will be delayed for this year's graduands.

In the real world of mental health we don't often see an end game in the way I do at the university. Yes we talk of recovery but that has been tempered by describing it as a journey not a destination. I'm not recovered, I'm in recovery. We can learn a lot from the ethos of AA.

To dream that one day I will be cured and no longer have to take Risperidone is fantasy and quite frankly not worth the risk. I have what I have and it is part of me. But not all of me as it once was.

Have a great week everyone and see you soon.

I Heard a Voice.