A light drizzle fell on a cold autumnal day. I'm tired but sated, hungry but full. After a very mixed week I was relieved to get to the weekend. Monday was a free day so I went to Borough Market. Spent more than I should but not overboard. I had a drink with my friend Julia after market then cooked roast wood pigeon on Tuesday. All went well the rest of the week then Friday came. I came home shell shocked, attacked and vulnerable. But I made it to end of the week.
The realisation that I've been here a long time came yesterday in the Two Willows. Under its previous incumbent and name of the Cork and Cask I returned to my old local from all those years ago when I moved here. My friend Marie was visiting and after splitting up for an hour or so to wander we agreed to meet in the pub. Whilst I was waiting for her a woman I did not recognise came up to me and said "I know you from years ago." I could only ascertain that we may have met in the very same pub back in the early days. Still unable to place her it seemed strange that I'm accepted here in Hertfordshire after the loneliness of those early days. I have a home but still feel itinerant. Should I have moved back to Kent a few years ago when the opportunity arose? I think I made a mistake. But I'm welcomed here, an outsider who did not go to Monk's Walk School. I do not know everyone here for my life. Yet they accept me.
As we move ever onward towards winter my life is still unsettled. Yes I go to work each day. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't. I have a sense of fear for the morrow knowing how much catching up I have to do. Will the demands be beyond my control? Sometimes they are.
That can wait though. After roast beef for lunch with Marie, Ginger Pig bacon for supper, tomorrow is another day. I will worry about that in the morning.
Have a great week and I promise I won't be away so long next time.
I Heard a Voice.
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